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the girl that was not loved.

i try my best to be noticed by this one guy,

every time we meet he just walks by.

everyday i sit and cry,

wondering why

i cant impress this one guy.

 

 

 

 

what should i improve in my future poems?

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Comments


  • Yorkshire Rose
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this poem makes you feel sad for that girl, its quaint but nice


  • cbizzle
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If I had to change something from a poetic stand point, for me it would be "everyday I sit and cry,
    AS I WONDER why
    I CANNOT impress this guy
    but thats just me, when it comes to poetry just write whatever you feel like.

  • cbizzle
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Short but sweet. Im sure you'll find a way.