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Napalm Sunrise

Missing image



gently gently
my cheek on your chest
where once you roughed and tumbled
in teenage dreams
fumbled engagements at my pink nipple
while I
sucked hard for pleasures you still covet
unrestricted
like the way your knees bend out toward midday
suffused in sheets damp with need unbridled
subtle as the thrust-pump jumps we took from
old tires and spume-washed boards -
strong with innocence
untarnished by climax...

Of course I miss you,
she says as she gathers scattered skin,
we'll talk soon...

and then she wonders
softly, softly
into her dried, stained pillow,
how his kisses will feel
in a napalm sunrise...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Napalm Sunrise

© crisstiena

Author notes

picture prompt.

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • stitched-heart
    November 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    one word... WOW!

  • Tercil gold member
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I believe napalm in this is a surrealist dream, a fantastic residue to fantasy, but within your means to grasp. Lovely words. T


  • zt
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well I'd call this a winner, though the judge didn't agree--probably because you didn't keep it to the 40 word limit. As always, your descriptions are intense. I especially liked the line: "suffused in sheets damp with need unbridled". The only thing that made me think twice about your choices was "napalm". It seemed too clinical for an erotic poem like this. Still...


  • jinsays gold member
    August 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Napalm. This is so different from anything else I've read. I love the underlying disgust they both have for each other, yet the attraction that binds them..or am I just reading it wrong...?
    This is a welcome addition to my contest, and I wish you the best,
    Jin


  • Balldinger silver member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    simply sensual, yet Satanically vile. how'd you do that, Crissy? woah!


  • Wolf Mancini
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Whoe...

    This is superb...a little darkness...a little erotica...a lot of thought.
    As always very well written.

    Remember me?
    I'm glad to finally have the pleasure of reading some new creations from you!


    wolf


    • crisstiena gold member
      August 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      How could I forget you? I missed you for the longest time...

      ~ crissy

  • hardeepb
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great write...so many parts of it are so abstract...yet you bullet your point...great take on the picture.

    I love the little bit of dialogue in the middle...express emotions very subtley...

    Good luck in the contest

1 - 9 of 9