I am a piece of antique and delicate china
Hurtling towards an unforgiving ground
I am that cold voice in your head
Telling you that you're just too big
I am the ecstasy you feel when
You step on the scale and find
The number to read seventy five pounds
I am the reason you look in the mirror
and see a distorted looking obese woman
While others see an emaciated little girl
I swore to you that I could make you happy
I am the best friend that holds you up
I am the monster that has ruined your life
I am anorexia
Author notes
I chose the word bank option. I used the words: China, voice, distorted, ecstasy, I swear (I swore)
My name is Frostany
A contest entry
- " If You Were Dead Or Still Alive " by Asabouros..
700 points, ended August 18, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Oh, and Put your AP NAME in the AN, PLEASE! (it really bothers me when people forget
)
Did you read the rules?
>.>
Only asking 'cause you broke two of them. -
Hm...you spelled little wrong. And I wish you'd separate it into stanzas. ...Also I think the harshness of the term "fat pig" doesn't fit in well...and you should think of a softer toned word. And another also, in my opinion it would read better as:
" I am the best friend that holds you up "
Okay...Now that I'm done pointing out what I don't like and being kinda bitchy,
I'd like to say that I do like this, and if you make the corrections I recommended, you have a pretty good chance to place. 
-
Wow, this is great and a haunting
view of this terrible disease. I
love how you put this one together!
Great work and good luck in this
contest!
Jeremy0826
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