If I smash this mirror
will reality distort?
Will it collapse over onto itself
and eat my image whole?
Will my spirit leap out
free now from the glass
and jump back into my body?
will I be whole atlast?
Will time itself reverse
with such an image
now broken from its cage?
and reverse the damage done?
Can I climb into my counterpart
wholly made of chrome
and make a perfect part of me,
make my cracked image home?
Well I guess the only way to know
is to do what is proposed.
So please hand me that hammer
and hope I'm home and hosed.
A contest entry
- ♥Perfection - Mirror Image♥ by Asylaarix.
450 points, ended August 26, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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good job
this is the 1st time i read sth 4 u.. but i rly liked it.. coz it makes me feel u wanna say sth
but i have only one critic..
the idea is felt like repeated ... i dunno whether am right or not.. but i felt it..
anyway,, this is very artistic
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COOL this is a great poem..i was reminiscin while reading this..nice^_^
my memory of confusion and those sicking question why? omg im gonna cryT_T
good job!bravo.
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I like the idea behind this, and I think you provide some excellent imagery for the reader. I think you're on target as far as the contest goes.
If I might make a minor critique, there's some word repetition that could be tweaked. I'm speaking specifically of the third stanza. I'm not sure that you need reverse a second time there.
Aside from that, I think it's pretty good. Good luck!
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I loved this! It flowed along, lilted, really. I love the question it posed.
Can I climb into my counterpart
wholly made of chrome
and make a perfect part of me,
make my cracked image home?
Priceless! -
well done
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Interesting...
Excuse the pun...but very nice imagery here.
I also like the flow...short and sweet and to the point.
wolf
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