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Forbidden Fruit (wittian form)

Forbidden fruit
Points moot
Wanting her more each day
Mine, alone in every way
Amused
Confused 
Troubled thoughts, broken heart
Hoping for fresh start
Let her in
Then its sin
Our time’s short
Hard to court
Needing more time together
Maybe, could last forever
Taken
Forsaken
Left alone for too long
This is where she belongs
Points moot
Forbidden fruit

Author notes

Wittians can be a fun form because they can be read from top to bottom or from the bottom to the top.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Deceits Tears silver member
    October 24, 2008
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    I don't know this style,but I do know a beautiful piece when I read It
    Be Well


  • SubKitten
    October 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    amazings!

    Very nice. That's a new style of poetry to me, but it was brilliantly done! That style worked really well for the poem, and i liked it.

  • Poetic-Theorem silver member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant

    Marvelous wittian my sweet friend,
    Beautiful poem that flows so well both forwards and backwards. Oh my, you are so very clever.
    Much sensual and loving emotions in this masterpiece
    Wish you the best in the contest

    Cheers
    David

  • Broken-Bones
    August 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have never come across this from before and I really liked it, It means the pieceis well thought through which often makes poetry more special. I loved the theme and the way you conveyed the thoughts , often in shirt snappy lines which make it feel like the passion is too much for lengthy lines. Great Work x

  • sensual
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Good luck

    In the contest sweetie. This poem was awesome. I've always loved the wittian form.... excellent poem and so hot.


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    August 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    lol, you know i like this poem you have done here, kind of gives me an idea, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest


  • ckwriter69
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Nice wittian form with this one. Forbidden fruit, oh how I long to take a bite, but we all know better. Always great to read you writes. Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.


  • yellow blue bus gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thats cool how it can be read both ways.
    but i usually prefer longer stuff
    & i didnt feel emotion in this as much as i wouldve liked

    it was a nice write tho
    goodluck in the contest


  • JeannieD Hunter gold member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow girl!! It is all I can do to write top down and have it make sense! This is awesome. You did a fantastic job. Best of luck in the contest.


  • Ktulu Blackwolfe silver member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Love the form you used here. Maybe I should try it someday..lol Hope all is well with you.

    **Ktulu Blackwolfe**

1 - 10 of 10