Fuck everything we’d been through,
fuck how you made me feel….
it doesn’t matter anymore,
you’ve ruined everything…
you don’t even care
about me,
about her,
just your image.
So go ahead
crush me
crush her
just force your way ahead
it doesn’t matter to me anymore
so forget those special moments…
the bliss we’ll never regain
you’ve thrown everything away
just so you could uphold your image
so never mind me…
never mind that I
threw away precious moments
that i'd never be able to obtain,
all for you,
you stupid bastard.
so yes…
you may be hot.
and yes…
you may be cool.
But in the end,
you’re a bitch and
you're not worth another fuckin minute of my time.
I wish there was something
I could do
that would allow me to delete
all the memories,
all the moments that you
made me feel whole
because none of that’s
worth anything anymore.
no….none of that’s worth shit.
So this time,
I’m gonna follow my heart
and follow my mind
and they’re both screaming
to walk away,
as far as I can.
So as I distance myself
from your hurt and lies
I feel a weight lifted
off of my chest
and I’ve never felt better.
So thank you.
thank you for showing me
your true colours.
And now my final words to you,
you bastard,
are
Thank you,
Goodbye.
Author notes
well i've just been kind of angry with something that happened to me recently....so i wrote this poem. i guess it's also just a draft. please enjoy!
What is your honest opinion of it?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I enjoyed this thoroughly... The expression and emotion are there, in every sense of the words, and you certainly don't spare the readers a single thread of your pain.
Admittedly, I thought that the cursing was a little excessive in parts, and it weakened the blow a bit. A well-placed f-bomb can have a lot of impact, but overusing such harsh words can seem childish or over-the-top. Obviously, you're angry... But try to avoid overusing obscenities if you can help it.
If the subject-matter is what I think it is, then it's definitely not an easy situation; having been there myself, I know how it feels to be so angry that it hurts to think clearly. But you cannot let anger control you, for it is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die... Not good for you, physically or mentally.
A good first draft, and I look forward to the final product!
Laura
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i agree...lotsa emotion, its easy to feel wat this person made u feel and @the same time it seems like ur head is clear, and r able to think cleary and u not phased by the emotion, cuz u realise that losin this person is a good thing in the longrun which makes it an excellent write
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wow this is so great. so much raw emotion. i really love how you say "So thank you. thank you for showing me your true colours." that is really cool. i also like the rest of the part at the end where you actually fell better in a way about it. i really love it. good work!
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PERFECT. The raw rage that you channeled is just perfect. It's as if you took every emotion I had, every thought I had, every moment I've wasted and spoke them for me. To say that I have created a connection to this work is an understatement. The words, even the curses were just perfect. Just...I love it....thank you for sharing that, and in some ways I think it just made my whole day a lot easier to understand. thank you again XD
---tricia
ps. did i mention it was awesome?
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Hey no problem. We all have to stick together.
Thanks for the comment...you just brightened up my evening
~Rose~
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well...damn!
This is really good! Wow... the anger channeled here is astonishing!
However, I think in line 30, "you’re not fuckin worth my time" may sound better if it read a little more like this "you're not worth another fucking minute of my time." That seems a little more... dramatic. Feel free to take that or leave it! It's YOUR poem, remember!
Thanks for writing such a great piece! I wish you all the best of luck in your creative ventures to come!
Bravo, once more, and happy writing!
The Famous Reese Bailey
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Oooo I much prefer what you have.
Thank you so much for the comment =) -
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you'r welcome, lovely! I do what I can!
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oh, I've definitely been there.
I've written something like this too
I think everyone can relate to this.
your emotions were so tangible; it was great.
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Thanks! =)
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