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Tearing At Clouds

Tearing at the clouds of life
that have become a veil
before my eyes

I will be denied no longer
the opportunity to witness
the emergence of beauty
which often passes unnoticed

Tear away the curtain
of hustle and flow
Tear away the binding grip
of machines and paper

Take a walk
beyond the matrix
of existence

Dwell for a while
among the wild gardens
and savour the serenity within

And when your soul
has quenched itself
with reality's scent

The sap embedded deep
behind a furrowed brow
will run with a fresh sense
of vitality.

Author notes

Prompt quote: “All these things have you said of beauty.
Yet in truth you spoke not of her but of needs unsatisfied,
And beauty is not a need but an ecstasy.
It is not a mouth thirsting nor an empty hand stretched forth,
But rather a heart enflamed and a soul enchanted.
It is not the image you would see nor the song you would hear,
But rather an image you see though you close your eyes and a song you hear though you shut your ears.
It is not the sap within the furrowed bark, nor a wing attached to a claw,
But rather a garden for ever in bloom and a flock of angels for ever in flight.
People of Orphalese, beauty is life when life unveils her holy face.
But you are life and you are the veil.
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.
But you are eternity and your are the mirror.”

Kahlil Gibran

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • poet2angels gold member
    August 31, 2008

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    COngrats on this beautiful piece...Ty for sharing such beauty with us and participating in our group!

    Lynda


  • jasminerose
    August 30, 2008

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    A beautifully written piece!! Your title pulled me in, then your imagery expressing so much emotion just captured the essence of the prompt brilliantly!
    Thank you for entering this amazing poem in our contest!
    Jazzy


  • poeticweaver gold member
    August 24, 2008

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    Excellent!

    I really enjoyed reading this here poetic piece my friend.
    You did a great job with captivating the reader, kept my interest indeed!
    As Lynda states below, an amazing job with the quote!

    Bravo, Timothy

  • poet2angels gold member
    August 12, 2008
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    This is too beautiful to pick apart and cut and paste favorite parts from...I loved every line, every word...This fits the quote perfectly...We chose that quote because it was so beautiful and so deep and makes you think, and your poem does that as well....

    AMAZING job you have done here!

    Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ty for being a part of my group and participating with this awesome piece!
    Lynda


  • Angelflower
    August 11, 2008

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    Kahlil Gibran is a wonderful poet and artist.. you did such a wonderful job with this.. I'm really amazed..It was soft and beautiful.. I just really have no idea what to say.. Beautifully done.. I think you did the prompt justice.. Best of luck


    Angel


    • Errant Panther gold member
      August 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the wonderful comment my dear friend. I found this a difficult quote to work with but the meaning behind it drove me to try and echo the original sentiment. Glad you liked it.


    • notorious
      August 11, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Buahahaha this girl made me read this

  • notorious
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    "clouds of life"...very original.

    "emergence of beauty/which often passes unnoticed"
    And isn't that the truth.

    "the matrix/of existence"
    Hehe...The Matrix anyone? Yeah!!! Red-pill it up.

    "wild gardens/savor the serenity within"
    I love the word 'within' & you used it in a good way.

    "scent of reality"==>reality's scent
    Maybe? You haven't used any possessive forms, so I think it'd be cool to use one here (lots of poets overdose on possessive forms). This way, you don't have as many filler words...e.g. 'of', 'and', 'the'

    Cool metaphors.
    Good luck

    • Errant Panther gold member
      August 11, 2008

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      thank you for your in depth and honest critique, I am pleased you enjoyed the read. I will make that suggested alteration to "reality's scent" it seems more efficient in flow.

1 - 19 of 19