chocolate Canned fantasies, the shrink-wrapped Barbie with long legs of non-reality the sickly sweet skittle, a rainbow even she can not reach, Gazing the infinite empty and consuming all that is hollow, the blind expansion of an inanimate object, the taste of traveling, a multitude of lacy dimensions frayed upon the buds of taste..
______________________
her forgotton
licking diaphanous eye shadow she fades slowly down into canistered emotions
Unoriginality of the ‘fitting in’ it suffocates her sight to blindness to indifference
She travels the road only skin deep, drowning in her shallow waters she can not see the shore nor the rope to save her.Cutting deep she has forgotten what is closest to her, she has forgotten what is hers, she has forgotten how to feel.
______________________________
never again
the savory flavors of indigestible lies, she hides like a little girl under flimsy sheets, she hides from truth, as an unstoppable force from the bed and from behind the closest door truth is lurking, as virtue comes knocking, knocking on the door, she screams “NEVER AGAIN! “ again and again she screams “never again!”
Author notes
was on a roll and had to go with it
Soulfulbubbles
I did this for sat XP is this still okay
ill do something for sunday
but can i still post this?
this was inspired when i was making a contest on artificial tastes , the thing was that i was really motivated when i wrote the contest and then when i got to the prompts ^-^ i was REALLY inspired to write and i had to write a piece for a writing class so it all just Spilled out XDDD it felt
INCREDIBLE to write, @.@
the 1st one was influenced slightly by alter Barbie's that i saw in a gallery(which were freaking AMAZING) and mainly a picture
tho the 2nd piece was partly influenced by a couple people i know in one
and the 3rd one was influenced by just thoughts about a certain part of people
and also influenced by the people i pass by or people that i study
as well as the fears of little children
heres the link to the contest i just made:
http://allpoetry.com/contest/2417287
A contest entry
- Are you up for a challenge? by innocence jaded.xx.
4200 points, ended September 8, 2008, 72 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Easy To Enter by Redeemed15.
450 points, ended August 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's? (IV) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!! ENTER NOW!!! by xCandieKissesx.
475 points, ended August 14, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Creativity Contest! by misshugglebugglez.
400 points, ended August 16, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Random Contest to Scope out Talent by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended August 25, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Velvet Tears and Razor Smiles by Moonlight Complex.
1000 points, ended September 2, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery by owlish.
900 points, ended September 25, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please? and thank you...
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I like some of the words you used in this and the way in which you've used them. The style is not usually something I enjoy, but this wasn't too bad.
I would suggest trying to give it more structure and flow, felt too much like a story.
Still it is very good. Keep up the good work! Good luck. -
Brilliant!
A very imaginative piece with excellent potential. I hope you give it a chance to evolve.
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woah!
I really enjoyed this! Creative, indeed! I like: "the shrink-wrapped Barbie with long legs of non-reality the sickly sweet skittle, a rainbow even she can not reach"... i like how you associate skittles with the rainbow... like on the commercials! good luck in the contest! Loved it!
- PB Fudge (luvz yaz!) -
:P
Chocolate Canned fantasies, the shrink-wrapped Barbie with long legs of non-reality the sickly sweet skittle, a rainbow even she can not reach, Gazing the infinite empty and consuming all that is hollow, the blind expansion of an inanimate object, the taste of traveling, a multitude of lacy dimensions frayed upon the buds of taste..
Sensual and filled with imagery. A bit adult for me though. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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wow sooo much imagery
i like this alot
and the ideas you have in here are wonderful
lots of luck in the contests you entered
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Hmm, definitely like the surrealism and imagery mixed into one here: despair, love and . . . barbie? Very random but I continued reading on and while I was reading this, I couldn't understand what the theme was so thanks for the AN
I pretty much like all the lines here even if some sounded too melancholic for my taste or something ^^ Good prose you got here; keep it up
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This was so...so...wow! I'm actually speechless, but I'll find something to say. Your imagery is incredible, so unique and so powerful, and sometimes haunting and sometimes beautiful. The reader is thrown into emotion... Kas, you are so talented! I love your style, which is really a style only you have. Wow!
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Wow. A very different poem. I haven't met someone who writes just like you. Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
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Ohkay, wow, so I really REALLY liked this. A lot =) But could you give a little story behind it in your Author's notes? I love your take on society, and how people are nowadays. You honestly wrote this beautifully & flawlessly. I loved the imagery & metaphors & basically just everything. My favorite line had to be:
-licking diaphanous eye shadow she fades slowly down into canistered emotions
...
Simply amazing =) For real. That line stood out to me so much. I loved the whole "canistered emotions" thing and the whole thing about licking eye shadow. Very VERY creative. Thanks for entering & I hope you continue doing so ! ♥ -
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hehe thanks i am glad you liked it! i put up the inspirations for theses pieces in my notes
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oooOOOOOOoooo
i like these - yum
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Real.
The most pure thoughts are those which are free flowing and uninterrupted. I could relate to many parts of this, and actually enjoyed how it read like an extra long sentence. Enjoyed the digs on shallow society. -
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thanks ^-^ inspired from my contest(and some people i know) .
thanks for reading this
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