(Gold trophy )
Back in the late 70's, the 1870's that would be
I proudly rode with the Ma Catz Barker Gang
My job was to crack the safes using a little TNT
And to make sure it was done with just one tiny bang
But then came Oklahoma where I really screwed up
That was where I blew the safe to smithereens
Oh my gawd, what a stupid schlep
When I got done no money was to be seen
With the money all gone and no job in our plans
we needed more profit from our little crime
It was left to Ma Catz, it was all in her hands
She said blowing up safes is a waste of our time
Train robberies I hear are the way to go
so on our horses we jumped and rode after that train.
Ma said, "That aught to bring up our floundering cash flow
now that we're actually using our brain"
The first job we pulled was going just great
I measured the dynamite just like I was taught
then hoped that gold train was not a minute late
and that we didn't end up getting caught
The train showed up most on time but foolish me.
With dynamite tied together and ready to light
I had a sudden urge to go and take a pee
and didn't know what to do with those sticks o'dynamite
I tossed them to Stardust to hold till I got back
They had a long fuse so I wasn't too worried
though she almost had a heart attack
But I knew it would be okay if I hurried.
Now to end this long, sad story of an ill fated date
with destiny and the others in the Ma Catz Barker Gang
I am the only one left cause the train was a tad late
But soon the lynch mob will be here to watch me hang
This is the epitaph written on my stone;
The fuse was not long enough
The dynamite, too soon it blew
Though Ma's gang was pretty dang tough
Bodies and horses looked like they flew
To make matters worse
There was no gold
As if we had a curse
So it was told
Author notes
I don't think this is what you are wanting but I liked the idea of the Ma Catz gang and decided to expand on it a bit but all I ended up doing was blowing them up...worse even then the last safe I blew up in Oklahoma next door to Queen's saloon......
Now I have to start over and create a new persona since mine is being hung by the neck til dead...from a train station mail post at this very moment...There weren't any trees......
I knew all along I sucked at being a criminal...but I am working on it..
In a list
A contest entry
- Partners in crime group only please by Partners In Crime.
950 points, ended September 5, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Congratulations on the Gold, Sis
I knew this one was a winner But at least you were wrong about the demise of the gang. After all, we're up and at 'em again, ready for the next caper.
Love and
Dee
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lol, see... taking a pee can really mess up a robbery huh? l,ao. funny and clever, I enjoyed best wishes in the contest
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Ye blew 'em up!
Oh what a shocking tale of horror! Not only did you blow them up...you blew your sister up!
My favorite line:
Bodies and horses looked like they flew
Oh the horror! I shall have nightmares thinking about it!
They need a "Yuck, tuck, yuck" emoticon...I'd use it here. His one will have to suffice------->
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it's okay yem...wings said they all got away...and will be back for the next big caper so you can sleep easy knowing they 'flew' right out of there cutting the rope around my neck as they rode off...so I should be back in the dynomite business quicker then you can whistle Dixie..
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Go ma catz gang this is so cute good luck in the contest
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Thanks for reading and commenting...
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HA HA HA HA,I honestly believe Ma Baker got away. This story/poem was fantastic, loved the imagery especially the bit about bodies and horses that flew !
Excellent work.
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yep she got away...the whole gang got away so we will be back...Thanks for reading Hope we get more entries soon.....
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Hey, don't go thinking you can get rid of me that easy. Ma is one tough kitty and I've barely begun to use up my nine lives.
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Poor Ma. Barker.
I Can't decide whether to Cry or laugh.
This was fantastic and I cant believe that Ma.Catz Barker is dead I have a funny feeling that when no one was looking she slipped away before that fuse ran out. So I will be watching when the next caper comes up. I am reccommending you to the gang for the next Stage Coach Robbery they will need someone to blow open that cash Box.
Loved it Thank you for the entry and Good Luck in the Contest.
ED.
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so the gang got away huh...I knew they would ...good thing they cut the rope around my neck before they rode off...now I will be able to ride again with them and I have a brand new supply of dynomite...ready to blow...and for sure will make a potty stop before the caper begins...it was that last cuppa joe what did it...
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Glad you liked it...now to get Ma Catz Barker, if she got away, to write a sequel and save me...after all I was getting pretty good at that dynamite stuff...maybe I could sign on with a new gang...
This is a great contest...Thanks
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HAHAHAHA... this is great Darlene. And actually you're developing more of a criminal mind as each day goes by.
An excellent entry, Sis and I wish you best of luck in the contest
love and
Dee
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Hey Ma, Wings thinks you snuck away before the fuse ran out and didn't get blowed up...If that's so that means you need to write a sequel to this botched caper...and make it good cause I need a nice ending to my hanging......Maybe you could make the rope break or maybe on of the gang that stayed behind...wasn't it the sharp shooter that stayed back as a look out...she could shoot down the rope...I think I am grasping at straws here...or would that be gasping for air......
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