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Solitary Life

Missing image





As life falls into disrepair
I prick my skin to see it bleed;
alone, and no one seems to care.

No confidence in savoir-faire
and noble plans fail to succeed
as life falls into disrepair.

A tortured soul unskilled at prayer
whose flailing voice betrays his need;
alone, and no one seems to care.

My aching heart fills with despair,
allowing others to mislead
as life falls into disrepair.  

Sometimes I cheat at solitaire
and roll through life like tumbleweed;
Alone, and no one seems to care.

I hear a voice, but no one's there.
The ghosts advance and then recede
as life falls into disrepair;
alone, and no one seems to care.

 

Author notes

I suppose this fits prompts #2, 3, 7 & 9.

Villanelle


A Villanelle is a nineteen-line poem consisting of a very specific rhyming scheme:
aba aba aba aba aba abaa.

The first and the third lines in the first stanza are repeated in alternating order throughout the poem, and appear together in the last couplet (last two lines).


In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Nickelspring gold member
    November 14

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    What a fabulous villanelle! The repeating lines are worked to so very well. Spot on meter and lovely rhyme. A pleasure to read!
    K


  • Yorkshire Rose
    October 20, 2008

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    wow, this poem seems to of been made for that pic promt, youve got right inside this mans head


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 2, 2008

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    Have never tried to write one of this poetic form, but enjoy reading good ones like this. Good for, rhythm and rhyme as well. Sentiments well expressed in these lines. Picture suits the poem.


  • Frodofan silver member
    August 29, 2008

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    I think this line,
    "and roll through life like tumbleweed"
    Should either be, "and roll through life like A tumbleweed." or else add an "s" to the end of it.

    Otherwise, very smooth. Love the use of the form here. Works very well.


    • Summer Daze silver member
      August 29, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I am afraid I have to disagree. The way I have written that line keeps the syllable count at 8 and the rhyme is perfect rather than near rhyme. Thank you for your comment.

      • Frodofan silver member
        August 29, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Fine, but that still leaves the grammar incorrect. You'd be better off turning ot meter rather than syllable count as well. Syllable count most definently does not promise a perfect rhythm.


  • e m i l y
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like in the Villanelle form the repeating lines.
    it challenges you to be creative with the other lines
    while using the same words. And indeed you did.


  • Commodore Rouge
    August 18, 2008

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    That's amazing!!! For form poetry and rhyming, I think this is one of my favorites in both categories! Your word choice moves the ideas and phrases along well, which enhances the idea that maybe rhyme really is great! I appreciate the fact that the title isn't a phrase included anywhere in the poem. I really do hope you do well in the contest, this is a piece that deserves to win something!

1 - 8 of 8