Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Jim & Jimi @ The Fillmore East

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Electric Gypsy with fire of eye,
  (prelude to genius)
              damaged the Sky.
Enters the Lizard King
"Hey man, you want to buy me a drink?"
        The fiery eye laughs
         
~A drink two souls


"Almost at death with yourself
and On the Staircase of Birth...
soon,
  you may almost forget

    the smell of your family."
  (as the wind cries...some virgin's

name)


The King sips slowly
    (and weaves off stage)
as he drifts into the haze
"Dreams are at once fruit & outcry
      against an atrophy of the senses.
    Dreaming is no solution."


on different sides of town
where lyrics painted skies
and truth burns, when we hear
see, and feel.
 


The sky cried,

like the Roadhouse blues

on a third day drunk

with forms of angels
                singing;
                    "Let it roll, baby roll
                          All night long."


But the day shone,
hiding the midnight stars
kicked out of the Universe
where electricity dies,
and distorted vinyl melts...
    (in guitar strings
                  and microphones)


~The Encore
    (flicked Bics starts the Fire)

 


"Keep on movin'
     You got your God
              and so do I."
          Says the Gypsy's
voodoo and everything spoken.


With crazed crowds
of flowing Peace,
and tye-dyed dreams
laced in denim's
patchwork religion...


The Lizard winks at the Gypsy,
and whispers,
          "do you have
              straight jackets
          for the guests...
                        yes we do"


The third stone
from the Sun,
    revolves-
              and always will.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Option 2-a

with a lil' help from The American Night & Electric Gypsy

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • xxxLizardKingxxx
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is intriguing. A very engaging write. I would love to hear this put to music. Long live Jim!


  • Blkwidow77 silver member
    August 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you led me here. I'm very distracted when I do happen to come here and forget to check around.

    The title's creative. Definitely catching and engaging. The style was a little surprising because I couldn't remember you writing that way before. But it's good. I has a very easy language and quick flow. For some reason, it actually reminds me of jazz. Don't ask me why, I haven't a clue.

    As for constructive criticism... I have none. I don't know if it's because I'm tired, or perhaps you've just nailed this soundly but let's just say the latter and leave it at that. Funny, I think of you sometimes, wonder what you're up to.


  • lisapoet
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Voice of a generation. Poet and music lover. Great combo!


  • Desire gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My~

    The images that radiate and flow through the veins brings the reader there in the front row-
    engulfed in fumes of his aurae-
    don't have to pay for tickets, You brought the experience of a lifetime to us

    Loved this!
    you may almost forget

    the smell of your family."
    (as the wind cries...some virgin's

    name)
    I had to chuckle at the line:
    some virgin's name


    I borrowed my momma's bic lighter-
    before she lit up...
    to relish the moment Excellent!!
    Thank You for sharing Your Passion and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • davidwright silver member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    It's a very interesting piece. You have a unique way with words. With music behind it could be a jazzyMose Allison bit. Great write and happy trails.


  • word20dragon
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Great Write

    Great write you gave me lots of images you used the option well nice and long the write unfolds well and I get the sense of a concert and the song referances and like I said very strong images.

  • Yvette Champ gold member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply


  • toomysterious
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You definitely have a way of capturing the magic and essence of a time. Two legendary performers gone far too soon. I read your poem and I am there in the moment. Simply brilliant!


  • Wandering Woodchuck gold member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is done really well. I think you captured the mood of the times really well. Although I have never been a big fan of the Doors, their music certainly was better than the crap put out by most groups today.

    Great job. Rock on.

    Mike


  • Riamh
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome! Absolutely inspired.

    With crazed crowds
    of flowing Peace,
    and tye-dyed dreams
    laced in denim's
    patchwork religion...

    My fave piece!


  • onerios13
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Damn...this was just freakin' amazin', darlin'. I don't know what to say but I wish I had the talent to write like this. Hell, at this point, I think we should just enter THIS and just fib a little that I had contributed to it!

    Most Marvelous...

  • MaQueen
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Am unfamiliar with the Doors/Hendrix, before my time, that didn't matter though, the poem has it's own song to sing and lines 18 to 20 ( re the dreaming) were outstanding, would be a great hook line. Superb.


  • adios muchachos
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Nice Work

    This JJ loved those JJ's but never got to see em, I would have had to dig into my reefer and acid money and nobody sings that good. At least then!LOL
    Really, very, very nice work.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Quite a read!

    (I am a JH fan)



  • peridotPixi
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i think this is a really cool poem, i click on it cuss the title caught my eye, i used to stay at a place called the fillmore(im not sure if it had 2 Ls or only one) and it had a bar attached to it, i like the gypsy you have used in this poem/song and i love how you said that the sky cried, good luck in this contest and as always keep up the writing, ~Amy


  • Cannonsfire
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is such brilliance and considering I am a Doors fan I loved it. I think all Jim really wanted to be was a poet, it's the way I remember him anyway. Damn fine rock here Love, C


  • poet2angels gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so amazing...I don't have favorite lines....I started to copy and pate, but it was fruitless....This is brilliant and so up;ifting from beginning to end.....a get up and dance song....

    So cool!!!!!!!


    I so love this

    Lynda


  • marc creamore
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Muddy . . . you captured the two Jim's of our generation perfectly . . . the dialogue between the two is priceless . . . oh so well done. It's too bad that they and so many others in the musical realm died so young . . . I'm thinking of Janis, Tims Buckley and Hardin and others not so well known. I guess they were simply the causalties of the wild mosaic we were all spinning in.

  • Aisades
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Now for my poetic comment.

    You amaze me with words Richard. I admire your skill so much. Each word bleeds, cries and breathes..

    You are a poet that I do look up to.


  • the atlantic
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    give me a mirror so i can hold it up to james' comment, you definitely have your own unique voice and are always a pleasure to read. don't know shit about the doors but i'm sure you did them justice.

  • Aisades
    August 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Excuse me..FUCK YES!

    This is fucking poetry! Jim and Jimi are totally diggin you right now dude. I fucking love this!


  • apples fell
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    You just got the wrong comment that was still in my paste and cut from word pad...LOL. Sorry about that. Anyways, I wrote up something, but then I lost it when I tried to copy and paste it...Grrr...Well what I was saying is that this went down like a good shot of urban whiskey. Your voice is always your own Richard. I love that opening stanza. No crits. I just enjoyed this for what it was, poetry.

    ;


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply



    Ohhh, HELL yeahhh...

     

1 - 23 of 23