Upon every blade of grass,
A river flows, bittersweet...
As every note brings about
the screech of the banshee
of brittle hearts.
Walking down the road
shedding petals of scorn
as winter breaths her last
and summers sun brings
the stars to bright life...
On the wings of eagles hope soars,
a last wish dipped in poisoned promises.
Within the kaleidoscope of space
I paint the words that spill from the moons
dimming rays.
Closing the eyes of the world,
the wailing soul wanders...
Trying to hide behind the colors
of the butterflies wing, she dances
in the rhythm of sorrows.
A ring of forever,
the lock that burns
a hole in this Angel's universe
keeping secrets from fading into
the black and grey...
An Angel's future in the balance
of love's unsteady hand,
and deaths beckoning call.
Whispers of forever now seems so
short...
As romance said "I do"
upon the band of illusion.
Angel's dream of freedom
floats, drowned in the pool
of life's unfair justice,
the moment the veil was raised...
Author notes
Monday: Find a quote, be inspired by it. PUT QUOTE IN AUTHOR'S NOTES :]
AngelFlower
Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us
discover this truth at the end of a love
affair or else when the sweet emotions
of love lead us into marriage
and then turn down their flames.
~Thomas Moore
Update: this is more personal then you would think so please be kind.. thanks..
A contest entry
- Are you up for a challenge? by innocence jaded.xx.
4200 points, ended September 8, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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You have a talent for poetic device and imagery! The symbolism and imagery is strong, yet tethered by raw emotion...
I found one stanza that I really wanted to commend...
"Closing the eyes of the world,
the wailing soul wanders...
Trying to hide behind the colors
of the butterflies wing, she dances
in the rhythm of sorrows."
BUT, then had to add this one, it was equally enveloping and unique...
"A ring of forever,
the lock that burns
a hole in this Angel's universe
keeping secrets from fading into
the black and grey..."
Great job! There are a few minor edits that I would recommend, but It's still a great read!
Thank you fro sharing this...
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment. I know that most of my writes are not grammatically correct but hey.. it works for me
again thank you very much for your comment..
Angel
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Amazing
The deeply personal ones are the ones that are so good...like this one. A great piece with great flow, beautiful yet dark imagery.
I loved this..."Closing the eyes of the world,
the wailing soul wanders...
Trying to hide behind the colors
of the butterflies wing, she dances
in the rhythm of sorrows". This told it's own story of sadness and dispair...very heart felt and profound. An excellent write.
Nevadapoet
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment
Angel
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Wow
This was amazing.. left me breathless.
You took the quote and ran with it;
personally, emotionally, & beautifully.
Your imagery and poetic devices were
so brilliant in this. Really kept me
wanting to read more as if this were
a novel.
Also, I love your background..really
perfect for the poem.
The ending was so powerful & left
as lasting impression.
Wonderful!! & good luck in the contest
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thanks.. I'm glad that you liked it.. I made the background Lol. and I'm glad that you liked that as well..
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Wow deep and profound!
You have done it again Sis! Another poetic masterpiece and another contender for Gold!
Love the bits which go:
"Walking down the road shedding petals of scorn"
"a last wish dipped in poisoned promises.
Within the kaleidoscope of space"
Phenomenal work here again. fabulous poetic expressionism and graphics, superb on vivid imagery and stunning read all through. Wow what talent!
Love it, bravo, very well done too!
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
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Strong words.
Closing the eyes of the world,
the wailing soul wanders...
Trying to hide behind the colors
of the butterflies wing, she dances
in the rhythm of sorrows.
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Powerful write. Definitely an interesting, deep piece. Best of luck in the contest.
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to touch upon that river of sorrow where memories aree scorned within that moment of time...
yet reveal thy scars wherein darkness overflow!
Interesting perspectives!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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you might want to do a spellcheck on your title on this piece
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thanks
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Wow sissy.. your heart is bleeding, not only can I see it but I can feel it as well. the biggest illusion of life is love. the one emotion that has the power not only to bring us happiness, but to destroy us as well.
I always used to ask if love actually lasted forever..
yours tears, your pain is deeply felt.. I'm here for you as you know.. just wanted to say it again so you won't forget, that your twin loves you... and unlike what you've experiencing right at the moment, my love will last forever, well past the end of time.
powerful words spoken from a bruised, battered painful heart.
yes sissy good luck in this contest
but knowing that this poem is much more than that..
I'm here for you.
your twin
kat
s x infinity
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another beautiful write, the emotions and the pain captured in each line and metaphor really speaks and digs deep into the reader. it has a powerful strength to it. well done and best of luck
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Beautiful poem, it hurt to read it.
*just hugs you*
Slayer -
Wowww. You used such a wonderful use of imagery in this poem. Your view on the quote was so powerful & held so much emotion. I loved every word, but I'm going to pick out my favorite lines anyway =)
-As every note brings about
the screech of the banshee
of brittle hearts.
...
Loved that. The whole meaning of it was so alluring & I loved the whole "brittle hearts" thing. You usually see "broken" or "fragile" written in front of "hearts". I like to see that change. Beautiful.
-On the wings of eagles hope soars,
a last wish dipped in poisoned promises.
...
Also loved the poisoned promises. Very unique. I must say I love your writingg =)
-As romance said "I do"
upon the band of illusion. <.<. ooh, loved that
...Angel's dream of freedom
floats, drowned in the pool
of life's unfair justice,
the moment the veal was raised... <.<.Oooh, it's like a twist kind of at the end there. I love the whole "dot.dot.dot" effect. It kind of leaves the ending wide open. Amazing write & sorry this was so long! ♥ -
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Lol.. thats ok.. I like it when people leave long comments..lol. I'm working on the background write now.. And this was actually a very personal write so I'm glad that you liked it..
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