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A Flowered Sigh

Whispered prayers paint wings
of love upon the back of tender
skin as fingers trace the essence
of a soul's divinity..

Scents of masculine strength
cry forth from petaled mouth
As stars beat with the rhythm of
The moon's smile...

Waiting in the mist of your breath,
as it caresses curvaceous thoughts
that linger in a wonderland of love.

Bring back reality with a simple touch
as philosophical memories dissipate

Upon the flower's sigh...

Author notes

Sunday: Find a picture, put the URL in your Author's Notes [or just use it on your page] & be inspired by it.

Picture Credit: Romance_by_lryiu

Angelflower

A contest entry

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • nevadapoet
    August 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    WOW

    Poetically beautiful to read...music to my mind while reading...Thank you.
    Nevadapoet


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is beautifully written and I really love the way that you have dug deep to find the emotions that are captured within it. well done and best of luck to you.


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such beauty throughout this
    entire piece. I hope that you
    do well with it in this contest!
    Good luck!




    Jeremy0826


  • Riamh
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    If I were to point out my favourite pieces of this poem here, I would end up just pasting it all here.

    Wonderful job, sweet.


  • arafura gold member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely soft and sensual poem. The words fall easy on the senses. Excellent!


  • Lil-Bit Crazy
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow... awesomness job here.... thats my new word... anyway you did awesomensss i like.... good luck in this contest.......


  • notheretojudge
    August 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very descriptive writing, I could see it as I was reading it.


  • notorious gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Find...ANY picture?
    I need to check out that contest.

    'essence' is a nice word.

    "soul's divinity"
    Do I see a correct possessive form?
    YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH!!!
    BTW, I love both of those words. Nice pairing.

    "The moons smile.."==>"the moon's smile"
    Should be possessive & the beginning of the line should probably be lowercase because it connects with "As stars beat with the rhythm of".

    "Waiting in the mist of your breath,
    As it caresses curvaceous thoughts
    That linger in a wonderland of love.."
    'as' & 'that' shouldn't be capitalized IMHO.
    "caresses curvaceous" is some, if not dirty alliteration.

    "flowers sigh"==>flower's sigh
    Possessive form!!!!!!!!!

    Also...you kept using 2 periods (..) instead of the correct ellipsis (...).

    I actually think you rely on the ellipsis way too much--you used it five times in this piece the incorrect way. One ellipsis is usually enough for a poem...though most of the time, it's not needed at all.

    Good luck

    • Angelflower
      August 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah yea...............

      • notorious gold member
        August 10, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Are you resenting my comments yet?


        • Angelflower
          August 10, 2008

          Edit | Reply
          Nope! I cut down on the (...) and I put the (') where you said lol.. I'm just hoping that oneday I'll write something that you will actually like! lol.


  • innocence jaded.xx
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, this is absolutely incredible. You used such a powerful imagery, and the picture was such a beautiful inspiration. Amazing write. I especially loved these lines:

    -Waiting in the mist of your breath,
    As it caresses curvaceous thoughts
    That linger in a wonderland of love..
    ...

    I really liked how you described love in those three lines. & I loved the whole "curvaceous thoughts" thing. Loveddd it. Thanks for entering & I hope to see more from you ! ♥


  • jazzcat gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That last stanza is just a perfect way to wrap up this piece. I liked the images and the overall mood you created with your words. Excellent job.

1 - 18 of 18