It's in the Cards

Well, we were sitting
At the table
Playing cards.

As the bets went around,
There wasn’t a sound
When the call came to me.

I threw in my chips
And pursed my lips
And as my eyes met every other,
I said, “All in.”

I was but a fish
In a sea full of sharks.
They said I was bluffing
And they checked their cards.

They called my bluff
And showed me their stuff
And then all eyes were on me.

I took a sip from my cup
And turned my cards up
And then all hell broke loose.

You should’ve seen
The looks on their faces
When they got a glimpse
Of my pocket aces.

I was the last one standing
And they were demanding
To know where I learned to play
But I wouldn’t say.

They said it was luck
So I said, “What the fuck,
I learned from the man in the corner.”

They looked at the man
Who had given a damn
And taught me to play.

Did I mention
That all who played
Were my family?

Grandma came unglued
And started a feud
With the old man in the corner.

“There goes retirement,
You son of a bitch!
I ought to kill you
And dig you a ditch.”

Grandpa looked at her
Without saying a word
And a pin drop
Could’ve been heard.

He scratched an itch,
Said, “Shut up bitch,
And suck my cock.”

She said, “I’d rather be dead
Than give your ass head.”
While smiling the whole time.

Grandpa stood
For the first time in years
And by the way that he staggered
I could tell he’d had a few beers.

He said, “Listen, whore,
I’ve got to settle a score
So get out of my way
Or else you’ll pay.”

She stepped aside
And went to hide
Behind my Uncle Jerry.

The family watched
As he walked over to me
And he stopped.

He sat at the table,
Shuffled the cards,
And threw in his blinds.

I smiled as he glared back
And I threw my chips
Into the stack.

He said to me
As he dealt the cards
“It’s about time
You learned to lose hard.”

I checked my cards
As he checked his own
I had a marriage,
I was in the zone.

He checked,
I bet twice the min
And he raised thrice the min.

I called
And the flop came
Giving me the game.

He didn’t know it
But I had a flush
I slow-played
’Cause I was in no rush.

We took our battle
To the river of dreams
But nothing is ever
As it seems.

He showed his cards,
Four of a kind
I was hit hard.

In the room was a hush
When I turned my king and queen,
Revealing my royal flush.

He rose and stood,
Was kind of rude,
And left the house that day.

And that is the reason
At our family reunions
We never sit at the table and play.