Your eyes, your touch, your kiss
Waited my whole life for this
Baby cant you see
you've put a spell on me
Cant even look in your eyes
without being hypnotized
You've put me in a trance
As we flow to our lovers dance
(chrous..maybe)
We'll dance to the waves of the ocean
With perfect rhythm and motion
We'll dance to the beat of our hearts
As our emotions fly off the charts
Come on baby, lets give our hearts a chance
To embrace in the lovers dance
We'll swirl like the wind up high
Til we see the clouds pass us by
Grab my hand and dance with me
Feel our bodies glide to the harmony
We'll dance along the road ahead
We'll dance under the covers in the bed
Whether we're prancing through the sunny rays
Or splashing through the rainy days
We'll never miss a beat to our lover dance
Repeat chorus fade
Author notes
Shut up and dance option
'wubbie get down you fatty'
A contest entry
- Top Hats and Cold Gold by Emilina.
1100 points, ended December 21, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Suggestions are welcome!
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Veryu good piece. You really made it feel emotional and real. Great job with the penning! An A+ job with word usage and everything. Keep up the great work! I will be looking forward to reading and commenting on more of your work soon. i hope that you can get the chance to COMMENT back on my work, seeing as how I am sure that you and I take the same amount of love and put it into each and every piece that we write! Thanks so much for the share and again, a brilliant write!
THANKS SO MUCH!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ -
A very nice rhyme and flow that works out pretty well as a lyrics. There's a lot of whisical imagery here, so, I imagine that piano music would work pretty nicely, soft and melodic.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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Good Job
Good job,I liked the part about prancing thru the sunny rays or splashing thru the rainy days
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ok, it took me a day as to which option you were talking about. lol my bad
I really truly love this songy deal, but I asked for shut up and dance as the title. -
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my bad
didnt know u wanted that as the TITLE...easily changed
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so good!
wow, this is so good, good luck in the contest
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Ya know I was reading along through the first and second verses thinking to myself that this would make a good song rather than a poem...then I came to the chorus.
You could do all kinds of things in a video to match these lyrics...endless possibilites there. I enjoyed this...good job.
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wow yeah wow
this was awsome i was thinking of my other half while i was reading it. it really made me feel like me and him were floating on air and i tried to hum it out and it would be a great song it has the heart now it just needs a voice well blessed be it was great.
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holy shit
that is lik the best thing i have ever read ;]
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as a singer I can appreciate a good song and this would be an amazing one. thoughtful with just the right touch of emotion. I could hear it in my head.
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awwww
i love this
bookmarking it
lol
addie -
This does flow really well and its an awesome write...Thanks for sharing
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this flows really well. thnask for sharing
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Awww this is too cute. A definate book mark. I like the deatil you put into this.
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i may be able to add a melody to your song but the question is how will you hear it?
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Beautiful piece of work Mindie! I found myself reading it in a tune so to speak. I think it would work great as a song! It paints a very vivid picture thats easy to see yet so pleasant to look at! Very nice!!
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i cried. its just really good. and i dunno it just brings me to somethin that im going through. very nice write
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The rhyme was good--it didn't feel at all forced. The flow was pretty good, and as a song I think it really works.
What a romantic piece. I can imagine it being sung, with an amazing melody, and really love the possibilities. You did well with this.
Thank you for sharing.
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Great stuff, rhyme and flow spot on and all the feeling you have always brought, great stuff
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wonderful
Oh my such a very lyrical piece. Has a great rhythm and flow. And very passionate. great job.
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This does work very well as lyrics, the rhyming and wording makes it feel very dreamy and reflective.
Good write.
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