You promised me rainbows and butterflies
but everything you gave me was void of colour.
Brown cardboard boxes clutter my room
& when I open them they’re all empty
because you didn’t even try to fill my empty spaces
Your letters are either written in invisible ink
Or nothing’s written at all.
It’s just that every girl has her dreams
& you’ve shattered mine.
In a list
A contest entry
- - engraved in tears - by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended August 11, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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i loved the way you expressed yourself here, you really showed the emotions that are felt
another great poem -
"
You promised me rainbows and butterflies
but everything you gave me was void of colour.
Brown cardboard boxes clutter my room
& when I open them they’re all empty
because you didn’t even try to fill my empty spaces
Your letters are either written in invisible ink
Or nothing’s written at all.
It’s just that every girl has her dreams
& you’ve shattered mine."
If you didn't notice,
I copied the whole poem into my comment
because I LOVE THE WHOLE THING.
It's so amazing.
And you say I'm good
♥
-Mary
PS: Bookmarking fo sho. -
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awww yaay thanks soo much
your comments make me happy
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ahaha thanks
What I meant to say was "and you say I'm good"
Jeez, I'm such a 'tard today aha
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I enjoyed this. My favorite lines are
Brown cardboard boxes clutter my room
& when I open them they’re all empty
Nice job on this and congrats on the bronze.
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I rather enjoyed the spacing between the last couplet and the longer stanza, it added a nice touch to the emotional level of the piece. I'm sure this is a place every girl, if not every person has been at least once in their lives. Thank you for sharing, and best of luck in the contest!
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awww, this is rather sad, but a powerful write
wonderful job and congrats on the old trophy
good luck with this contest
Stephanie ♥ -
Wow!
It’s just that every girl has her dreams
& you’ve shattered mine.
I'm stunned and speechless. This line is very very true..Unfortuanately. Wonderful job and good luck!
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thanks everyone for the comments
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I can truly relate to this piece, especially the last 2 lines. I have had a couple of guys shatter my dreams, so I just don't dream anymore, then I wont be disapointed.
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"Brown cardboard boxes clutter...."
Great alliteration. Nice job
Prefer the last one though (if I may say so)
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when I open them they’re all empty
because you didn’t even try to fill my empty spaces
Your letters are either written in invisible ink
Or nothing’s written at all.
It’s just that every girl has her dreams
& you’ve shattered mine.
this whole thing is SO beautiful,
I can't believe you don't like it.
you seriously have a good chance of winning!
love youuu.
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Short and to the point. This was full of emotion with so few words. I enjoyed the metaphores. Nicely done! I could feel the pain and heartache in your words.
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Short and simple, but full of painful emotions. Great description and vivid imagery
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