my secret heart
hides deep inside
like caterpillars
it has no pride
but changes
just to suit the world
and look so well
that no one sees
the troubled soul
that lies in me
A contest entry
- Your Best Pre-Written Rhyme by piccola.
800 points, ended August 15, 2008, 90 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Without Rules by reckless abandon.
900 points, ended September 6, 2008, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Extravaganza 3/ rhyme only by piccola.
600 points, ended October 12, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I love this
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I really like this and it touches a chord in me. Thank you for reading the color of death. Yes. it is a horrible disease. I'm a nurse also.
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this is great...
I think we all tend to change who we truly are to suit the needs of others...its a shame sometimes. Thanks for your comments on my write as well, it brought me to yours. And that is a very different kind of contest isn't it? lol
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Wow, this really makes a lot of sense. It's well written, flows nicely, and has a lot of emotion. THanks for entering and good luck.
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Awwww how moving and deep!
You have penned to perfection deep moving feelings which are so empathic to most of us, who are into 'putting on a brave face for the world when inside we are crumbling', lovely the way you manage to succeed to pen so much depth in such a nice concise and simple way, that takes talent and tenderness personified. Trauma is by design supposed to make deeper more feeling and empathic people out of us all, in you it has succeeded.
Well done, love it, write on. Bravo!
Good luck in all of your contests hope you in Gold in them all.
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
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Sadly tender
Thank you. I never took the time to think before, that perhaps every caterpillar's dream is not to become a butterfly. This gives me a whole new perspective on that transformation. I thank you for expanding my mind.
Dark
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The catepillar is an excellent metaphor for what lies inside. This is very nice.
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ah you are a butterfly! this is a good write.
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we are all troubled thanks for reminding us , good luck xx
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It makes me think about the ugly catterpiller . Nice rhyme and enjoyed the metaphor you used here. thank you for entering
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lol i like this poem. good job ^^
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Wow, quite powerful and speaks volume, of the sadness that lies within. A profound write.
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