Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

We Will Survive

Our bantam scow drifts aimlessly
And clouds rise up before her bow
We hold our course tenaciously
Not knowing how

A scow she is and scow she’ll be
Her cargo is our very soul
Our tiny vessel on the sea
Has lost control

The sea of life is filled with pain
And rages as the storm appears
A cancer we cannot restrain
Confirms our fears

The tendrils of the sea seep in
And wrap themselves about our helm
Destroying flesh and rotting skin
It’s cancer’s realm

We stand together in our fight
And choke the sea to stay alive
Beyond the storm there is a light
We will survive

 

 

 

Author notes

Dedicated to my friend Sue Cardwell

A Sapphic ode (Alexander Pope style). Ode form means repeating stanzas of the same rhyme and meter, Sapphic relate to three long and one half length line.

In a list

A contest entry

Comments:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • hawkeslake gold member
    October 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Just simply wonderful, great form, and even greater tone and message. I loved reading this. a marvelous read, as always, Amera!


  • JustSimplyLissa gold member
    October 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am simply amazed. What a wonderful way to write about something just as deadly as the sea. Thank you.


  • Hetha gold member
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This is wonderful! Thank you for sharing this beauty. Such truth here, I like the Sapphic form you used and the final line is so very true. Such a gem is more than worthy of Gold.

    ~Hetha


  • Legend silver member
    September 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is little need for me to inform you of the beauty of your work Others do so far more adequately
    All i will say is that when ever i read anything by you it only encourages me to strive to be better myself
    Excellent


  • Rainydaywoman
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Sapphic Form rules

    Sad and memorable. I love the Sapphic meter and form. I love this poem and the symbolism of the sea involved. Very touching and refreshing to read, even in sad times. Thanks for your entry! Love and Light.

  • chiefmac
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Gold trophy was won and well deserved. This proclaims the survivor has goals unclaimed. The power shared with the reader is welcomed.


  • moonbumps silver member
    August 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Hard hitting and most moving and meaningful write-inescapable read-Sue has been done a great honour-
    Well done on the Gold
    Hilly xxx

  • Judith Chandler
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like your hope and optimism as well as the rhymes you have used.


  • Sue Cardwell gold member
    August 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for this beautiful sapphic ode, you have captured so much of me in here and I can relate to your words very much.
    Congratulations on the gold, well deserved.

    I must thank Jade for running this contest on my behalf to cheer me up, and it did.

    Love Sue


  • Rovingone gold member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Such an emotional metaphoric rhyme. Full of love and the feeling of strength in a time of despair. What a friend Sue has. And what an amazing poet you are!


  • Desire gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Oh My~

    Love the last stanza and Beautifully woven-
    I have yet to try this form~
    The images tug hard at the Heartstrings
    and Your Dedication I imagine would bring forth
    a smile upon Sue's face~ Bravo!!
    Thank You for sharing Your Heart and Spirit~
    Many blessings to You in the contest Sweet Soul
    Best wishes too
    and much love & light~ Desire~*~


  • PerVirtuous
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful poem and dedication. I think you write some of your best work for such dedications, as you make them so deliciously personal. Great work. Three loving bunnies.


  • kiwigirljacks gold member
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I was sure I commented on this I've seen Sue do this form too

    It's such a write of strength despite the trials that befall us and test us.. as I always say when going through a rough patch "this too shall pass..."

    Such an empowering and wonderful write!

  • Eusebius
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    A most brilliantly concieved piece, and most expertly and adroitly penned! I absolutely loved it! bravo... bravo... bravo...


  • Pure Thought silver member
    August 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Well versed

    Wonderful write of support.


  • StarEyes
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You know, as I was reading this, it was like you were talking about some of the things we have in common, sure felt like it to me... This is fantastic!! You did an awesome job on it!!

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and love

    Nyetta


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty good, Sis. But I am going to question the grammar of these lines:

    "The tendrils of the sea seep in
    And wraps its self about our helm"

    "Wraps" has to refer back to "tendrils" (it doesn't refer back to "sea"), and as such the line has to read "And wrap themselves..."

    But - whoa! - pretty good nonetheless, Sis. You're shaping up well.

    Here's a whole bunch of carrot-thieving rodents for you.


  • HisDirtyLiLPoet
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    *Smiles @ you* I'm certain your friend will cherish this for this is a blessed write. Thanks A for always being a true delight and a gifted poetess as well.

    All my love,
    She-ra


  • cricketjeff gold member
    August 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A sapphic ode for the queen of the form, great stuff!


  • luna-midnight gold member
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    awwwthis is wonderful lovely flow, wonderful wording and all, i really love this poem, great job and good luck
    Stephanie ♥

1 - 21 of 21