Gather 'round all of you wannabe starlets,
Casting couch actresses, and silicone harlots.
I've the very luxury that you seek:
A resting cabinet of darkest teak.
Latest rage of the dearly departed!
I'm not done yet, I've barely started!
Rest eternally on finest satin.
Name engraved in Cyrillic or Latin.
And, to prove our clients are not base rubes
We build a custom case just for your boobs;
A breast enclosure that fits double Ds.
How much should we charge for coffins like these?
Ignore the prices! You should have no fear!
Nothing but the best for treasures so dear!
Come down to the corner to Honest Clay's
For a custom fit at the end of your days!
Your funeral comes but once, never twice!
Come to Clay's today! Custom fit for a price.
Author notes
Prompt: Picture of a custom built coffin. I want you to become the Top AD person in Hollywood, and write a commercial (30 seconds) DUH, for this exquisite oak coffin.
In a list
A contest entry
- The Perfect Coffin For Hollywood Women! 20 poets/BIG POINTS! by imahealer.
1900 points, ended August 22, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I can just picture you standing outside somewhere near your shop and shouting this poetical message from the roof tops.
Can you image the clients all lining up
Although your AN is slightly different but hey
A great write and best wishes
Julie
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ah, yes. this must be the A-line bra version - funny and frightening; I saw a whole article on custom decorated coffins once, manufactured in Haiti or someplace. - quite amusing- I would like to see the one made to fit Dolly.
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Thank you for reading and commenting. The picture in the prompt looked like it had been made for someone of Dolly's Stature. The applause was most appreciated.
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Laughing, laughing, laughing! Your rhyme scheme is impeccable. Your theme, delectable! Geez, why did you have to break my bubble by telling me that I will only have one funeral! I am like a cat with nine lives. I thought nine! Your ad is fantastic and has me sold . I love teak (and being tweaked!) Resting on stain??? Dearheart, have you ever tried out a coffin! LOL When my mother was dying, I went to choose a coffin and tried out a few. Shocked to find out that the person lies on a slab of hard wood, and when the lid is closed, all of the accoutrements are removed. (Even the nice pillow!) Will you leave the nice silk in yours? Let the rich dead honoree families bid for the coffins.Make each one, one-of-a-kind! When you make your first million, please share it with me, a starving poet!
Your assonance and meter are smooth as the silk you put in the resting beds.
Thank you so much for your ad.
Get back to you on judgement day! (Pun!)
Linda
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I am glad you enjoyed my poem. I had alot of fun with it.
Let me clear a few things up.
You can have as many funerals as you want, but I would only recommend being buried once. The experience can be somewhat suffocating.
Also, you dealt with a shady funeral home. I know my grandfather was buried with the satin and pillow because I saw it closed, and carried it to the hearse and rode with it to the cemetary.
I enjoyed your comment very much.
Mike
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LOL I love It
Would or could that be called a "Boob Tube"
Well done
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LOL. I wish you had entered with that line. Haha. Thanks.
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LOL I love it!
A terrific take on the picture.
Well done you!
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I am glad you enjoyed it. I had fun with it. It is nice to let my silliness out for a walk.
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wow. I really love the cynical/ironic tone in this poem and I think it has a very nice rhythm to it as well. One small thing is that the word luxury is misspelled in here but other than that this is a truly g=great write. I love your sense of humor!
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Thanks for reading and commenting. I am glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate you pointing out the typo. I thought it looked wrong when I wrote it.
Mike
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lol. very cute in a patronizing sort of way. Love a poem that pokes fun at the rich and famous. And the sing-song, sales pitch tone throughout really brings it to life! thanks for sharing
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Thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I am glad you enjoyed my scrawlins. I have fun with these funny prompts.
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Superb
I love the ironic tone of this poem. It is really cool.(Well, maybe hot, depending on where one goes. lol)
Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine. -
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I am glad you enjoyed the poem. Thank you very much for reading it.
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You are quite welcome.
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LMAO I see a new career in your future LOL This is great Mike.. best of luck to ya!
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Thank you for reading and commenting. I am not much of a carpenter, but taking the measurements would be fun.
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