caught in my throat- choked
by the blister (it still aches)
left by your caress
A contest entry
- when fire and fingers speak by Virgoan.
1400 points, ended September 6, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i like the brevity of this write.
my only comment, the phrase inside the parentheses bothers me a bit. without that line it will still provide an impact - probably more.
thanks for sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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this is a beautiful little thing, which I adore, but you might want to check the rules about length ... he wants one of at least fifty words. You have spoken several hundred words with this, but I just wanted you to know, you may need a longer poem.
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I suppose I am doomed then. I just couldn't bare to force out something to meet the criteria. At least it will get read.
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