I woke today to find myself on an unusual fence
Looking down I see both sides
If this were a wall it would be easier to walk
There would be room for us all
To gleefully walk hand in hand
On one side is a love so pure, so deep, so passionate that you realize
Until this moment, you have never truly loved
Every thing you did from your humble beginnings to this moment
Was little more than going through the motions
An all encompassing love that makes you want to be a better person
A love that deep within your heart you know, you are a better person for it
Yet this love is not without pain, the pain of knowing
You are not loved with the same capacity with which you love
On the other side is a love that is warm and deeply caring
A love that has let you find a way into their heart
And made a place there forever.
It brings comfort, contentment, a confidence
That lets you begin to love again
It also brings pain, because this love
Cannot be returned in the capacity with which it is received.
It squeezes your heart whenever you look into the eyes of this lover
So much so that you stop looking into them
Afraid they will glimpse that reflection in your soul
Guilt saddles this pain because you know…they have
Yet the capacity of that love is given with equal fervency and equally profound
As I walk this fence I reach down and take the hands offered me in spite of this
For love should not have boundaries, thus boundaries should not be placed upon it
With each footstep, it widens to become a wall
Hand in hand we seemingly walk in sync
Suddenly the natural flow of love hiccups
Dazed and confused Humpty Dumpty comes to mind
I wonder if he fell because he felt he had to make choices.
Making mine, I offer the choice to love and be loved in return
in whatever capacity that love is.
Love should not be spurned, for if we do we miss life’s most precious gift
As we journey along the movement of love changes
I begin to see what I refused to see, what is, what was meant to be
I begin to feel what I refused to feel, the distance, my own missteps
Sea air assaults my nostrils, salt clinging to my skin like honey I forge ahead
A familiar sense of foreboding permeates my being
The air fills with a long forgotten song
Beckoning me as it crashes against the sands of time
” I am but your vessel
As we traverse through time
One that just rekindles love
While never knowing mine
I am the keeper of broken hearts
Harbor for wounded souls
Careening barnacles from your spirit
The balm that heals the holes”
The wall disappears into a dank darkness
Our heartbeats obliterated by creaking metronome crashing against the waves
The cold wet steel of nautical chains wrap around me choking the beat of my heart
Barnacles tearing at my soul peeling away layer after layer of my being
My desperate pleas echo into nothingness
Hands grip my hands anchoring me as I slip into an undertow of darkness
Two hearts left beating are finding a rhythm of their own as mine slowly ebbs
First I had to die:
Let down my defenses
one by one in surrender,
to that which holds me.
Gives way to that which protects me.
Each tear brings withering pain.
Bittersweet decay lingers,
as I'm drawn to the womb from which I came.
Only then could I see
Even in death there is beauty –
And only then, could I know
Rebirth:
Fervently suckling nature’s breast,
limbs take root to do the rest.
In morning's mist dawn is waking,
through the earth I am breaking.
Stretching, reaching, breaking free,
of the world confining me.
Thrashing slows to a gentle rocking
Lulled in loving arms I am delivered onto the soft down of earth
My hands are filled by a love that has never left my side
Bathing in the warm glow of love
I took the hand on one side, placed it lovingly to my cheek
Looking into the eyes of this love
I gently removed guilt’s saddle
Watching our pain of knowing
As it dissipated into the atmosphere
With this letting go came a new love
Equally fervent, equally profound
Now equal in its capacity of giving and receiving
Holding the other hand to my lips
With all the tenderness and love my heart could hold
I looked into the eyes of this love
Letting that love reflect into theirs
Feeling it quicken as it found a beat all its own
Dawn broke the horizon bringing
The adventure of a new future, a new day, a new love
There before us were greener pastures
Without walls, without fences
Love without boundaries
A new sound pulses from within me
Simultaneously my heart beats in perfect rhythm
To the hands holding mine
Yet, my heart beats alone
For the first time I can hear the beat
Of my own drum
Author notes
Option #17
Loving more....a variation on various lovers.
http://knol. google.com/ k/james-oneill/ polyamory/ 3czmgkncteg8o/ 2#
A contest entry
- FIVE YEAR AP ANNIVERSARY BASH!!!! by Auburn Sunrise.
5000 points, ended August 15, 2008, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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There was one stanza especially that really struck me and stuck with me: the one that begins with "First I had to die:"
For some reason, that stanza is the epitome of poetry to me. That stanza alone could be an entire poem. It is beautiful, true and enduring.
I love the variation on my prompt... you also managed to educate me a bit with that link.
There is a song by one of my favorite bands, Breaking Benjamin, titled "Polyamorous" - for some reason, this poem and that definition bring that song to mind.
This line is also quite brilliant and pleasantly surprising: "I gently removed guilt's saddle". That indicates that guilt is not only a burden or a weight, but a slave-driver that makes you its horse and rides on the high parts of your life, wearing you down.
Exquisite write - well worth the length and patience it took to get through it.
It does seem to venture off-topic and confuse about 25% through - with the bit about Humpty-Dumpty... but after that it only gets stronger and stronger. Of course, that is only my opinion - I'm no expert.
Thanks for this wonderful entry for all the time you spent on it. -
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Thank you so much. I will have to listen to the song by Breaking Benjamin. I'm glad that my work brought it to mind. Humpty Dumpty refers to choices. The nursery rhyme never says why he fell only that he did. I pose the question, did he fall because it was easier than making the choice or did he break because he had to make one. Being poly vs being monogamus, where in monogamy if you've ever fell in love with more than one person you find yourself having to choose between the two.You are torn, "breaking". When you choose to be poly you discover you can have those two loves. When you choose to be polyamorous it forces you to do some serious soul searching. There is a rebirth, with that rebirth comes finding the heartbeat of those two loves, and the discovery of your own. I know that most who come by most likely will not "get" my work. I contemplated putting the link right above the poem. So that one would read it first thereby understanding the poem better. Also it's a topic that may for the most part put people off. So I was really jumping out of the box not only by posting the write, but by entering it in a contest. But then I thought, if I don't jump out of the box, how do I grow?
Again, thank you for your wonderful comment, even more than that. The venue in which to post it.
tmd -
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Ahhh... the Humpty Dumpty reference makes total sense now - thanks for explaining that! How cool!
I love your line of thinking there - did he choose to fall? Do we choose to fail? Do we choose to shatter ourselves? Too often, I find I do.
I also love how you juxtapose monogamy against poly... how true! I have been in that position before - and the "lover" offered the suggestion that I leave my significant other and start an "open" relationship with him (that's what we called it, but it really meant we'd be polyamorous - as long as we never lied and he always knew what I was going to do). Well, we ended up parting ways, but it was a nice thought.
You should be proud of yourself for jumping out of the box and writing about a controversial topic in an inventive way. You definitely caught my attention and impressed me.
It isn't forceful or demanding that the reader share its views - instead, it calmly and metaphorically explains. Quite a stunt to pull off! You did it so well.
I am adding you to my favorites.
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this is about the fourth time i have clicked in now and i was reading a bit of it at a time - love is never easy, it takes us, propells us into madness all the time, if i could live without love i would but sadly i/we can not. it brings us crazy times.
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If I must die to be reborn. Let me die in the warmth of your embrace and be reborn in the tears of your eyes. Your heart and soul shine bright in this one my friend. Best wishes in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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