too thin...
that's the proverb that first comes to mind
but then again,
when I look at you,
and remember the ditches we left half-empty
I find myself contemplating,
(masturbating)
leaving love illuminated,
trying to figure out this ditch we crawl through,
shallow waters that give way to shallow creatures
our love swims blissfully unaware of the trappings of commitment
I see you,
the reflection you reject,
and I embrace it,
fully,
lovingly,
non-judge-mentally,
and I pray that you embrace me back
just an inch or two is left to spare
and this water is running thin,
but I have so many friends
that still need their cleansing,
and they deserve it so.
Author notes
prompt is shallow
In a list
A contest entry
- I hope I never feel this... by Cannonsfire.
1750 points, ended August 21, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I am honored. Thank you
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I was getting so use to your short poems, that I almost forgot how good you are with longer ones. I agree with Cheryl that you don't need the last stanza...I think the stanza before summed it up perfectly. That first stanza though is killer. I loved that so much. You really can write Shawna. Yes, you can.
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You know although you ask in the final lines as a prayer, I wonder if it needs the last bit at all. I see the poem more as ending with the line of committment and it works just as strongly. C
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