Far from water,
they come to me
on my front porch
covered by their colored magic.
A friendly totem speaks again
representing me as I am.
Somewhere between water and air,
I am somewhere in-between growth
seeking beautiful transformation,
seeking equilibrium.
They are arrayed
through the reflections and refractions of light.
Their meaning tells me,
"Take a closer look inside".
I am here on oil immersion.
Come see me on the mechanical stage.
I wished you would pick me apart my love,
Maybe I would feel a bit better then.
My angry words can never be set aside
and my neurosis comes and goes like a disease.
My mind alludes to the water of your shower
where you are there washing my hair,
my back,
my face gently.
I wish I could cleanse away your pain;
the one I caused.
I would gladly christen your confidence with my tears
and brush away our conceited pride with my hair.
Author notes
I can't take away the horrible things I've said, but I have learned to be a better person because of you.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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A most interesting poem. I loved the first half... the poem seems to trasmute from theme to another. Unique and very deftly done write, which I greatly enjoyed!
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this is powerful
and seeping with sad, but i think it has many instances of brilliance..for example:I wished you would pick me apart my love,
Maybe I would feel a bit better then.
i don't know somehow that just really 'got' me..so happy i made you a fav.!
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I don't know what it means to be on oil immersion...because you'd think if you were on it...it's cool...but in it...that's different.
You're obviously confused and your confidence is stricken. That comes across as more than you as the narrarator, but as well filters through easily from you the writer.
You'll deal with it....
and come back smarter and stronger.
Don't press or pull it too hard dear.
Everything will come back into shape given time. -
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Thank you so much. Oil immersion is the highest power that a microscope's objective lens can be on and the mechanical stage is where you would place the object that you are wanting to view closely. I've been seeing a lot of dragonflies lately, even though I don't live next to any ponds or water of sorts. Their totem represents change or transformation and when they make their appearance away from their ordinary habitat, it's suppose to be life telling you to take a closer look at yourself. I feel so much better about myself since I've started taking responsibility for my actions. I'm learning slowly to be more forgiving and less condemning.
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Now I feel as if I were being condescending. Perhaps. Drinking and writing.
It feels good to take ownership of what you do. I think it's a prerequisite to learning from your experiences. Another trick I've learned is that by allowing things to happen, and still participating, you can get alot closer to satisfaction than when you try to press things into shape. I got that from reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. And have since discovered it to work in an uncanny fashion.
take care. -
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Why do you feel like you were being condescending? I didn't take it as that. It's true that I am "a little confused" and my confidence is "stricken". I don't deny that. It happens when things don't work out the way you wanted it to. I don't think that I'm trying to shape it though. I'm just trying to find peace. The person who I wrote it about will never read this nor will he care. I guess it was written to clear my own head and conscious. Of course, that's what writing is about sometimes. Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance, sounds like something that could give a person much guidance on being patient. Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them.
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I don't know. I was just waking up this morning and reading what I wrote and how you responded. I'm trying to give you life advice in my arrogance when you already know the deal. I may have been reading and commenting with a slant bias towards our previous conversation. That and brotherly affection combined with hard liquor. I just don't quite trust the guy who wrote it. Even though I was being perfectly honest at the time.
It's hard to see what you know is truth when you're hurting. Not many people are good enough or smart enough to just sit down and take it. Not when it's stinging.
Love, if it's not done right, can make anyone crazy.
I think that a solution for anything you really need is out there. Most of the time though you find it when you're just cruising along and doing your thing.
We get caught up in our "life" and it limits our abilities, expectations, and perceptions.
The reality is something bigger and more wilder than we can control. Sometimes we have to let go of the reigns intellectually and allow things to work themselves out.
I'm not suggesting sitting back and watching,
or choking some mother fucker,
but doing what comes into your head...day to day.
Scientists haven't quite worked out how bees fly
or anything about any given square inch of space.
I don't know why we expect ourselves to be able to control something so incredibly complex as a human.
Anyhow...I'm rambling...thanks for the conversation.
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