my number one camera
got lost in the crowd
and the disposable razor
began to shout out loud
bleach ate the surface of the tile
the interior smile
it had a proud gimmick
the scandal took away any sensitivity
and relativity proved
to no longer be a theory,
the page became extinct
as the forest was so thick
pick another sunshine
as i long for a merlot glance
and a heart doesn't require
a second chance.
The self imposed exile
took place inside of a glass house
a mouse i became
rummaging
with refridgerator thoughts
inside of someone elses blame.
break the mirror
shards of my soul will NEVER be the same.
.......................
Comments
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I'm not sure what this is about...but I like it.
I like the messy style and sporatic rhyming a lot..
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Very vivid and evocative imagery here really helps to portray the pain and emotion of the poetic voice. I liked the use of metaphor in particular 'a merlot glance' is just one example. The pain literally burns across the screen. I'm sure people do read your work, it's hard to ignore. Glad I clicked on this. Thanks for sharing.
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this is a different poem, but i enjoyed reading it. =) great write, bet it took 4ever 2 write
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im lost for words. i dont really know what to think after reading this. except that you spelled refrigerator incorrectly. the NEVER at the end shouted at me. but ill forgive it.
i just went through the poem again, taking the nouns from the first line of each stanza. i think it would be interesting to try and write a poem including all of those.
my number one camera
the disposable razor
the tile
the interior smile
the scandal
the page
another sunshine
self imposed exile
the mirror
anyways. well done. this made me feel something although i'm not quite sure what.
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