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This Mermaid, This Life

 

Oh, how the Ocean weeps for the mermaid
Her shrew mind; asleep from the world
Oh how he hammers himself against the sandy shore
His bitter anger unfurled

She is silent. Dead.
Curled on the cold Rock of certainty
The bare breasted, yet beloved little mermaid
Still pulling at the sea

And the Moon! Oh the false Moon
Proclaiming his regret
Both far from truth and remorse

Catching only a mere mer’s silhouette

 

For the Rock stands arid.

Cursed by its nature and company

Its bohemian content, of pearls and scales ~

Its relentless melancholy

 

So sing burdened Wind! Sing!

Sing of memories never to be lost

Of love and life and pure, sweet harmony

Of tragic death and beauty crossed 

 

For so she will lay, as the Wind hums lament 

As the Rock remains unwavering

She, but a follower of the Moon

and his eternal request  

A lover of the Ocean;

An a simple life worth saving.

 

 

Author notes


This is a poem for my friend who recently passed away unnecessarily.

 

The Ocean was her Life

The Rock was her Death

The Moon was her Religion

The Wind was her Memory

 

Picture: "And she was dead" by Taurina

Link: http://taurina.deviantart.com/art/And-She-was-dead-72487433

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Comments

1 - 32 of 32
  • This was lovely. I've always had an extreme love for mermaids and the like, so this tickled my fancy pink Your descriptions were perfect and while staying true to the drawing, created a great atmosphere of it's own. Great job
    Jeanette*~


  • adsaige
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    I will assume in your author's note with the outlining of the ocean, rock, moon, and wind, you were speaking of the friend that passed away...? If that's not the case, it would be wise to clear that up for the reader...I am going to be commenting as if this was, directly about her...

    Mermaids have always been seen as sirens to lure men to death...some have always been looked as lucky...regardless, now, in this moment, it is perhaps a harbinger of death and sadness...the memories of "the dead who still speak"...A very beautiful dedication with the undertones of sorrow.


  • Danny Beatty gold member
    January 13

    Edit | Reply
    this is a beautiful lyrical poem ... the moon is jealous, or was, and the sea is unwilling to share its secrets which the mermaid knows ...last stanza, first line ... the word 'hums' ... outstanding

    fyi: final line .. 'And' not An ... i like the poem without the rest of that stanza .. no need to repeat what is already known, as though there could be an uncertainty at all, the first line of that stanza is a jewel of a line to end on.

    beautiful


  • broken-colours
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    "For the Rock stands arid.
    Cursed by its nature and company
    Its bohemian content, of pearls and scales ~
    Its relentless melancholy"

    I love the different metaphors you employed in this poem about your friend that could tie together to create a depressing fantasy tale - one of unusual creatures and the demise that will come upon us all.

    However, I felt like some parts fell flat, for some reason. I know that the pain from death is a strong emotion, but just some bits of this didn't really seem that moving or biting to me.

    Otherwise this was quite good.


  • neoladyem
    September 27, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a tragic poem. You create it very beautifully of the emotions and images that come to the reader. It was very well done.


  • Hidden
    September 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry for your loss, iknow how it feels to lose a friend, but its doubtful my pain was equal to yours, yours must be worse.
    You'll learn that the pain eases away, slowly. And it will sneek back up on you at the strangest of times, but stay strong.
    great poem,
    Steph


  • movedon
    September 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    sounds like you needed a hug.

    This is once again, plain amazing. I'm at a loss for words!

    ing alone,
    Mylee


  • Ms. Black Eyeliner
    August 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is another fantastic poem. again i am so sorry for your loss. i too have experianced loosinga freind sudenly and without warning. your poem is beautiful the imagry is fantastic, i love how in depth this is and how something is represented in every facet of your poem

    this is absolutley amazing, you are truly talented i cant wait to read more from you


  • sora.
    August 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    o_0

    dear god child,
    i just had to remind myself to breathe...
    *gasping for air*
    =P
    i wish i had read some of your other stuff sooner...
    this is amazing.
    =]


    • Ditt0
      August 28, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      You honour me with your kind words
      Thanx for the compliment!
      Lol... Thanx for the clappies


  • firefly53633
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Ahhh. A Thinker!

    Standing ovation for writing from the heart! Kudos to you for the the lasting memorial to your friend.

    I LOVED the title! The idea to explain your thoughts for the reader made it much easier to follow the second time around. Vivid painting in words. Read my poem the song of the sea for further inspiration! Keep up the thinking and writing and NEVER FORGET. That is how everyone that passes before us stays alive!


    • Ditt0
      August 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I know. To remember and learn is the best thing to do now. I feel like she'll stick with me for a long time. I hope she does.

      Well Thanx
      Ditt0


  • UnderThePickleTree
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Crap.

    As if the poem wasnt already breath taking, the way you penned your words so wonderfully in the explanation would have been enough! I do believe I feel a new allpoetry favorite coming on...


    • Ditt0
      August 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wow... Flip...
      I gotta say. I'm flattered that my you liked this so much.
      I mean I some of your work and it was amazing

      At least I know its from a REAL poet .
      Thanx so much. You really made me smile now


  • Tripppy
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    NICE

    Very good and detailed, it actually reminds me of something that I would write. Great simbolism also

    • Ditt0
      August 18, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanx man.
      Ill make sure to check some of your stuff soon


  • BlackDiamondWolf
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    great write

    i loved the pome before the explation and after it. the doble pome idea was way cool and fit in nicely, but this part seams unfinshed"The Ocean is sullen.(Her body draws cold) Sick of searching for the truth A lifeless life, Her Everlasting Youth" other than that i dont see anything to critisize.


  • samm
    August 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was a really good read for me, great metaphor and symbolism :]


  • Redeemed15
    August 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sry, I accidentally clicked "Add Comment". I love the lines 9,10,11, and 12. Wow, I just read the explanation. It is painful to lose someone. Great poem, and God Bless You!

    • Ditt0
      August 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      No problemo...
      Thanx a stack...

      Much love
      Ditt0

  • Redeemed15
    August 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome poem Drees! I love it.


  • amanda vampiress
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my goodness! I love this poem! You described every line so exquisitely! I'm sorry for your loss, the way you describe her character, she seems like a very wonderful person to know. Keep up the great work, and keep writing!

    • Ditt0
      August 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanx for the comment...
      Ya she was

  • Shrouded in Mystery
    August 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I enjoyed this poem.
    This really connects to how I feel too, and I'm sorry about your friend. Well Done


  • Crazy9Piano8Freak
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Definately not too much to process... I love this one as it goes well with the story... I'm sorry you lost your friend, and I know what it's like to lose someone close... maybe not the same way, but I know a bit about it...

    anyway, I just loved this... great job!


  • Nicada silver member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautifully Written!

    Wow! This is an amazing poem, and I love the way you set it up. Your details in your authors notes are so deep and moving. I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful friend. She seems to have left quite a mark on the world and it is so sad that she passed so young. A heart tugging poem. Blessings, Patty


  • stephilou
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry about the loss of your friend.

    This is a beautiful poem. I really like that you added the explanation. Very very nice work!


  • aanika
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am so sorry for the loss of your friend,
    but you are very strong for writing about it

    this poem is beautiful, & I'm sure it does her justice.

    Still pulling at the sea
    A memory of laughter
    Softer, softer

    what beautiful imagery.

  • Topnotchsy
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful piece. Personally I love the fact that you took the time to explain what you were thinking when you penned this piece. Often I read poems that are probably very meaningful, but I just can not follow the metaphors and symbolism. Your explanation enabled me to see how each word you used referred back to the picture you were painting. Nice job!!


  • VanGoghNights
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    SAD :(

    Ohhh sooo sad... I feel ur pain and I know how hard it is to loose someone u love and even how much harder it is to write about it...lovely dear just lovely
    ~♥*Savina*♥~


  • youhadme-athello.
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your friend. I know you've probably heard that a million times by now, but I am. This poem is absolutely beautiful. I must add that I probably would not have understood it fully without the author's note. But that's ok, I still enjoyed reading it. You obviously put a lot of thought into this poem and it really shows how much you cared about your friend and has a very deep meaning.

    By the way- Is the picture at the beginning of the poem a picture of her?


  • Brit-Girl
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmm, i actually like this poem!
    the italics give it charm and it is quite unique
    thank you for your entry!

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