it was difficult
to glimpse you splattered on the bed
him forcing you into the confines
of some vitruvian pollock frame
stretching your legs out
like fleshy canvas
and i regret
ever tasting your meals
knowing they had been sprinkled
with the stillness of your pulse
and would clean out and close up
the chambers of my heart
while trying to sleep
the whisper of rain
tunnels into my brain
and i'm on the asphalt again,
waiting for your yellowed headlights,
drowning alone in the tears
of a sinking sky
over dinner
i chewed lightly and talked heavily,
vomited words of more consequence
than your stomach could handle,
all the while prufrock's muffled voice ringing
no, that is not what she meant at all
over hills when we drove fast enough
to leave gravity's grasp
our breath rose through the moonroof,
a signal fire
and final desperate prayer
for whoever abandoned us
to come back
Author notes
now, even my senses betray me
A contest entry
- Controlled Vomiting: Can you puke beautifully? by onerios13.
1400 points, ended August 17, 2008, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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second stanza was bank
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i love the way this poem progresses, and the images are so incredible. i loved the pollock reference because it was maneuvered so perfectly. this poem is just amazing.
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I was very enthralled by this piece...it was haunting, vivid and riddled with exquisite imagery. Maybe not as clean as it could be, but it did not stop me from devouring every word like a woman who had only sucked on sun and sand for a month. lol
Excellent entry.
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I'm not sure what to think of this. I mean, I like it, most definitely, but in relation to the contest, and the controlled and vomit of it all, I'm debating wether or not I think it fits. lol. Immediately it doesn't strike me as "clean", certainly emotional, but not clean. Then again, as I read it, it moves so smoothly and quickly and wraps me up in the story that the cleanliness of it, or lack thereof, doesn't seem to matter. So, I'm at an impass. lol. That last stanza was glorious. Loved it. Loved the whole poem actually, but I'll have to get with onerios and debate it some more ;
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oh wow. the beginning reaks of sex. breath rising as a desperate prayer, magical ending.
I'm homo.
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geez i'll move back i'm sorry :C
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hehehe
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