I'm feeling paranoid -
twenty five students
and one bored teacher
keep staring at my face
and my slow hands.
They want me to move faster
so that they can go outside
to chase balls or sit on concrete
but I can only go as fast
as I'm allowed.
They blame me for their problems.
I'm just doing my job
and I try to do it well
but when they are all this quiet
I know that I sound very loud.
I tick along at my usual pace
watching the teacher
marking their homework
hoping he will tick everything right
as the students slump over books.
This teacher has run out of time
and is waiting for his retirement
while the students are still at a loss
about how to start their careers -
they just want the lesson to end.
Author notes
Prompt # 4.
A contest entry
- Its all about the comments by Hello...No.One.Home.
700 points, ended August 11, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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GOOD
The author uses good imagery and maintains a poetic flow through the whole piece. Nicely structured, well written with poetic flare. Nice flow of words attracting the reader with their imagery, resulting in creating a message above the words reenforced by the imagery.
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When I first started reading this I thought it was you as the teacher...then I switched to you as the student...then you back again as the teacher...then finally realizing it is the clock that you have written about...How wonderful to read about a classroom from an inanimate object's view. Sort of like being a "fly on the wall" I have not read any of the other poems in this contest but this is certainly one worthy of reading over again. Darlene
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*grins* that sounds like school alright.
A wonderfull write and I wish you all the best in the contest.
Rose -
Wow, I love how you show the events here... and I think it's one of the few good poems written from the perspective of an object that I've read. The description here is good and I like the way the poem slowly uncovers its meaning. I thought the parallel between the clock and the teacher ticking is good. Nice job on this. Good luck in the contest
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Myron, can I give you a challenge?
I want you to write something HAPPY. To be honest, I don't do that often myself.
But I'm the challenge-thrower here. *Myron ignores the challenge*
Haha
I love this--your simple statements like "I'm feeling paranoid" & "They want me to move faster" all...well, they're so POIGNANT. Jeez, I keep using that word to describe people's poems, but it's true in every instance!!
Plus...the first line of every stanza seems to be cohesive with the first one--"I'm feeling paranoid". Was that intentional?
I adore your line breaks & poetic formatting--capitalizations in the first line, periods at the end & lowercase for everything else.
Can't stand those poems that have uppercase letters for every line. *barfs*
Anyways. Honestly, I think anyone could find a tiny part of themselves in his hating-school, dreading-school kinda thing.
"one bored teacher"
LoL
"and my slow hands."
Wow. That's deep.
"They want me to move faster/so that they can go outside"
"They" sound like a bunch of...Machiavellian masterminds--hate them!! LoL, liked those 2 lines.
"I know that I sound very loud."
Yes, your voice is very loud in how GOOD it is in poetry.
"at my usual pace"
Which is probably slow.
"and is waiting for his retirement"
*sigh* Some teachers shouldn't be.
"they just want the lesson to end."
Yeah!!!
You are talented. Enough said.
So, did you read this, or was this a soliloquy?
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