Body resting
heart tired of beating
breaths gasping shallow fleeting
burdens lifted
mind slowly drifting
into moments of past living
joyous times
true love caring
treasured memories giving sharing
family friends
my soul mate
a love not even death can break
slipping deeper
darkness calms
ascending as my saviour calls
A contest entry
- Challenge#4: a poem in no more than 50 words by Virgoan.
600 points, ended August 16, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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simple yet cleanly created with clarity. soft, well-rounded piece.
thanks for sharing your gift.
HENSLEY
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Thank you for the bronze.
Value and appreciate your comment
~sugar~
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wow!
i love this!!! your words flowed so perfectly, and i'm blown away! iagey here was strong, keep penning!!!
AWESOME!
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Thank you for your lovely comment
Valued and appreciated
~sugar~
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A beautiful poem you have created here hun
heart tired of beating
breaths gasping shallow fleeting
Deep and inspiring thoughts when the time comes
Best wishes to you
Julie
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Thank you hon as always
truly valued
~sugar~
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Beautifully penned Sugar, and your point is well taken. Death cannot stop love, in fact, nothing can, for it lives on after.
In thoughts and gentle nudges from the past, we can still feel our loved ones around us.
Good luck in the contest, hon.
I love you,
Brazos
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Your words are so true B
Appreciate you reading and commenting
Love you ~sugar~
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A VERY BEAUTIFUL PIECE, INDEED - FROM A VERY BEAUTIFUL LADY!
That FINAL BREATH can be very beautiful and filled with the promise of going to a better when a soul is truly at peace with itself as you have so eloquently penned here, my friend! IF this one doesn't take the gold - I'll never know why as you answered this challenge perfectly, in no more than 50 words that spoke volumes.
Peace & Love!
Earl.
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If I should go tomorrow Earl, I go happy. It is better place and I am at peace.
Thank you for your lovely comment, always a pleasure hon to recieve and read.
Love you ~sugar~ xxx
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Yep!
I agee with Ephiphany. Your poetry is evolving; it's becoming deeper and darker. I love this very reflective piece and hope it get the recognition it deserves. Well done, Michelle.
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Thanks hon..value and appreciate your support and your lovely comment.
Love ~sweetness~ xxx
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Haunting
Very haunting words, sis. I suddenly felt a chill after reading this. Good one.
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Thanks bro for reading..always appreciate and value your support.
Love & ~sugar~
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i loved this and i like the point that you took time not to give the same ole poetry sound and each word described the other giving definitin to the work if i was the jude of this i give it a 10 to be in the finalist but you know how that goes good luck hon
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JuJu thank you hon for you fab comment
as always truly valued and appreciated
~sugar~
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I think you did well on this challenge
sis your Poetry has evolved in such a way leaving the reader speechless and in awe of your words. Well done and good luck in the contest.
-ephiphany
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Thank you sis for your wonderful comment...it is with your encouragement that I have grown.
~sugarcookie~ 
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