Within the stroke of midnight she sits with pen in hand
For sleep has been forgotten, the night man keeps his sand
The lamp glows in the corner, perhaps she sees him there
Whilst writing of his passing, to calm her deep despair.
As pen collides with paper she gives a distant smile
Those memories forgotten, relieve her for a while
Remembering the good times and all the love they held
A clock chimes at that moment, good feelings are dispelled.
She gazes at the paper and reads what's written down
Such words of dedication to ease the hardest frown
A breeze blows through the window, an echo of a sigh
Her hand touches the paper and slowly writes "goodbye".
Author notes
My thoughts are with you Sue
In a list
A contest entry
- For Sue! by Jade Jefferies.
1450 points, ended August 23, 2008, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Brilliant piece of writing here-says it all about a very special person close to my heart-
Hilly xxx Congrats!
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Thank you for this beautiful poem it made me cry when I read it and it still brings a lump to my throat.
Congratulations on the silver and many thanks to Jade for running this contest to cheer me up and it did.
Love
Sue
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goodbye,,the saddest word..good luck x
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this is a piece to ponder on lovely write great flow and lots of great imagary, you painted the picture with skill well done to you
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well done
Flows well. Good rhythm. Good rhyme. Images create a strong though sad mood.
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This was a really cosy write, allbeit not a nice experience; the first stanze really sets the mood.
'Within the stroke of midnight she sits with pen in hand
For sleep has been forgotten, the night man keeps his sand
The lamp glows in the corner, perhaps she sees him there
Whilst writing of his passing, to calm her deep despair.'
The glowing lamp gives a feeling of fondness for the person that has passed away, but the overall feeling here is of an acceptance and a warm goodbye.
There is a sfe spot in the heart, people can never leave, good luck in the contest.
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Though I never had a bond with my father, this twists my heart with the sad moment it describes...
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I liked this poem. It's melancholy without being excessively depressing (which is good). The rhyming and rhythm are very good. I particularly liked the phrase "the night man keeps his sand." That was unusual and interesting.
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A beautiful poem for Sue and in the tenderly sad style she adores and does so well. Great stuff!
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Ahh!!! It's four in the morning, and your words have me weeping in my coffee. How very beautiful this is!
That last line....UGH!
Took my breath away.
I don't know what's happened with Sue, as I hardly know her, but my thoughts are with her too. Bless you for caring enough to write such beauty, and bless Sue, I pray it gets better for you,
P.S.
I really loved this, it's so pretty, heartbreaking.
Best wishes.
jin
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I loved the rhyme, the simplicity and the depth of feeling expressed in this beautiful poem.
She gazes at the paper and reads what's written down
Such words of dedication to ease the hardest frown
A breeze blows through the window, an echo of a sigh
Her hand touches the paper and slowly writes "goodbye".
I loved this stanza.
Altogether, a great write. -
wow!
I love this it flowed so well!
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