Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Far Too Gone

Exhausted are the tunes I had for you
Blithering idiots give a round of shattered
applause; they embrace images of themselves
Reflecting back at them through cracked glass

I wore a secret around my neck of a ribbon
made with black and an empty ring created
Hollow like the promise of friendship; and
a fleeting facade of memories we never made

So I took it off and put it down and let it
fade away-- It swings gently on the closed
door of my bedroom every time I leave
Like a vague recollection of my existence

Another eyelash fell today upon my cheek
And I wiped it away without blinking; I will
not waste a wish on your unhappiness--
The independent nature of my dependency
would never allow it.

Lovers aren't forever but friends are for
never, and such is the way of life; better
to be gone than rebel against that and maybe
in truth, I'm far too gone for you.

But for old time's sake let's write this final
stanza, sing an old remembered tune;
and I will flit away on that last sweet melody,
you always did like that pretty note.

I didn't write this for you.

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • aanika
    August 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Like a vague recollection of my existance

    Another eyelash fell today upon my cheek
    And I wiped it away without blinking; I will
    not waste a wish on your unhappiness--

    I love those lines!
    although "existance" should be "existence"
    and I love the last line.
    very strong.


  • shadowlyn infinitas
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    amazing

    from start to finish this is a very strong poem. great imagery and metaphors, too. i especially like the bit about the secret ring/ribbon necklace and also the eyelash wishes (i do those. . favorite line: "lovers aren't forever but friends are for never". what a great ending too, the last stanza of 4 lines is great. i just like everything about this piece. fantastic work! best wishes
    ~shadowlyn


  • angelgirl
    August 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    very well written

    this poam is very good thank's for shareing............


  • Memories Die silver member
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I had to think a while on the comment I wanted to leave.

    I like the way you closed the poem.  Like softly closing a door. (if you'll pardon the analogy) You didn't slam it shut with a loud bang, but with a soft "click".

    Very good read.


  • wendy
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm completely feeling this right now. I'm glad I read this. I guess I have some inspiration or hurt of my own to write down tonight, but I also guess that will come in time when I've healed a little more. Excellent write anyway.


  • Angelflower
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh! I really liked this! the imagery was really vivid and detailed you did a wonderful job! thanks much for sharing!! I really enjoyed reading it!


    Angel


  • pulsating
    August 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i like this...it has a nice angry tone to it....

    peace


  • Seven Kinky
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    As I said in blahoo...I likes. I think you perfectly captured the sentiment attached to the story. And the last line makes it. Cheers.


  • Wind 03
    August 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wooow...

    i liked it very much...nicely written))

1 - 13 of 13