Life is brittle substance
& not always transparent
to reveal false columns.
Is the truth an extended shield
or merely life's fictitious offering?
Each purpose erodes
be it by circumstance
or time passing casually.
Justice appears only
as the simple ability
to struggle a bit longer
in realms of broken glass.
Hope presents as old fashioned -
spurts of exuberance
to allow us some function
in this strange foreign land.
Somehow we misplaced the river
& forbade the mountains their due
because this reality can not be true.
Author notes
http://matrixfanclub.deviantart.com/art/matrix-29896756
A contest entry
- Individualized pics #4 by notorious.
2239 points, ended August 19, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Sorry about the ugly green trophy, you deserved more
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I love that ending couplet here. Elegant in its way. A ponderous write. Nice.
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Now that is some question bro!! I wish I had the answer... what really is 'truth'... how do we ever know. I guess we base it on our own moral code and experience. Yet one person's truth may not be another's.
Ahh justice.. damn that stanza is powerful!! Actually.. the whole thing is powerful and freakin outstanding!!! You once again humble us all with your thoughts and amazing mind!
I love this.. I shall have to come back and read it again I think a few times to really take it all in, therefore my comment isn't really doing it justice!! lol
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mmmmm I like this a lot. Definitely an exceptional take on the photo! I love that the poem holds its own without the picture, and frankly, I love it wayyyyyyy more than the photo. But then, I didn't really love the photo to begin with.
. 'tis good, 'tis good. Final stanza= damn brilliant. A sound ending.
thanks for entering and g'luck!
~sailor ptolema
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God, you hate The Matrix.
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The black b/g is very fitting of this piece.
It's not dark per se...but it's all deep & philosophical & shit.
Coolness (with a drop of egg drop soup).
Okay...
"& not always transparent/to reveal false columns"
Man, that is kick-ass...makes me think of fallacies & reality.
"an extended shield"
Bulletproof anyone?
"life's fictitious offering?"
That's rather cynical. Though you used 'Life' in the first line already.
Meh...I don't really care.
'erodes'<--Dude, have you seen Bruce Almighty? Every time somebody uses the word 'erodes', I think of Jim Carrey.
Great word!
"or time passing casually."
I love this one!!
Time is a bitch, and w/o formalities.
"old fashioned"
Jeez, I am DYING for an orphan hyphen here.
Maybe.
"in this strange foreign land."
The foreign land of machines, perhaps?
Or...THE MATRIX
"misplaced the river"
Coolness! This is groovy.
"& forbade the mountains their due"
Me likes mucho the nature elements.
"can not"
I know that's like...acceptable...but "cannot" looks better.
Well, I've always thought.
Thanks for entering by my request
Good luck -
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Life.... life's = intentional. William Shakespeare saw nothing wrong with that sort of thing and neither do I. lol
I watched half of Bruce Almighty but the DVD was messed up so I never saw the other half. heh
Thank you.
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I hate Shakespeare but I like you
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Shakespeare rocks! I bet if he was our contemporary you would dig him. lol
Thanks for liking me. -
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Are you accusing me of being mainstream?
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No. I am saying if he was here in our era writing in modern english you might like him.
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Let me know when it's done bro!
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Is done.
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god, neo...ahaha. Greatness will be here, I can sense it
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LoL, I wanted him to choose another one!
He chose The Matrix on his own accord.
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Is done. Maybe not what you was expecting though.
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You chose Neo?
That's never a bad choice...but now you have to write me a poem outside of this contest based on the first picture.
Please?!!! -
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Done
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EEK! brother thats gross..Lol.. best of luck.
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I wrote a poem about zebra feet.
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Lol.. You would!
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Long story. I was bashing an AP user.
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Lol.!!! coolness
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Yeah, I wrote like a dozen poems swearing about him.
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Lol.. thats funny..
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Yeah...I gave him his own list.
"I can't wait to see you in pieces (homicidal poems)" -
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Lol.. I love it!!
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Go check it out & comment *threatens*
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Lol.. yesh yesh ma'am
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Me not old enough to be a ma'am
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HAHAHAHAHA you crack me up. You are awesome.
http://biomachina.deviantart.com/art/That-Old-Black-Magic-81600994
You have to choose this one. It's so awesome!!!
or
http://kbox.deviantart.com/art/Yuki-46471082
LMAOLMAO this is a joke picture.
I just think it's adorable.
http://matrixfanclub.deviantart.com/art/matrix-29896756
Another joke picture (though God forbid, if you chose it, I wouldn't mind).
You can combine...LMAOLMAO.
You probably wouldn't want to.
Choose the first one!!!
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Why you call matrix one a joke pic?
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LoL...because I wanted you to choose the first one 'cause it's sexy?
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I will try to write for the 1st one.. within the next few days.
Why you give choice when you didn't want choice to be had?
lol -
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Hmm. Good question.
We should write about that.
Neo: Choice. The problem is choice.
The truest words if I knew them!!!
I will nag you about that first pic.
You better give me something Keanu-rific for this...LoL...I've already given PerfectImperfection a Keanu pic (go check it out, you'll laugh at me?) & Xianaria a choice with a red pill pic.
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