Beauty of a siren's song
Achin' of a waving wall
Screamin' of the white noise
long last inhale
and I remember the sweetness
of the world
At least not
be seen
while I'm sober
Author notes
PIC 5
i like form play >.>
**better to be read as if you're high, but then look at the prompt and that makes since.**
A contest entry
- Let your imagination run wild...PICTURES! ^-^ by Sick Sunshine.
300 points, ended August 26, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Only by wingsofgold25.
700 points, ended January 28, 75 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I loved the experimental lineation! The last stanza is especially good. You might want to check out William Carlos Williams who was a pioneer in this form - esp the Red Wheelbarrow.
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Nice job.
Thank you for your entry.
Good Luck in the contest. -
For someone such as myself,who on the rare occasion is sober(sometimes it takes up to 20 minutes to crawl to the fridge),this is a wonderful take on sobriety.Love the way it's written and someone said it was broken up?Funny...(hic)...didn't notice!lol
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better to be read as if you're high
I'd have to agree with that =P
non the less I liked the scattered thoughts
of this and the state of mind that was set.
=] good luck in my contest. -
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^^;;; yeah, theres a few ways u can read it too... the one i intended was left to right... as a way that the first stanza is read "Beauty Achin Screamin of sirens song of of a waving wall of the white noise." it is deffinetly for whiel your anything but sober though..
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