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The Makings Of A Killer

Hey Baby let me tell you a little bit more about
myself in THE THIRD PERSON to really send
it home!

Personality:

Jeremi, you're a Lethal Weapon!

Your personality is actually determined by
two personality sub-types - your primary, or
dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type.
You are a Lethal Weapon which means you are a
Seeker/Thinker. Your primary sub-type is defined
by "Seeker" characteristics and your secondary
sub-type is defined by "Thinker" characteristics.

That means you're open-minded, enthusiastic,
and popular. Chances are you might even break
the rules sometimes. You're motivated and serious,
and you always jump at the chance to take on a
new project. Innovation and abstract thinking
are your strengths.

How do we know all this? How do we know you
get cabin fever if you're cooped up too long?
Or that sometimes you'd rather just work on an
independent project so you can concentrate without
having to deal with people? How could we have
divined that you secretly question your self-worth?

Because while you were taking the test, you
answered four different types of questions—
questions that measured confidence, apprehension,
willingness to take risks, and your focus on
experience versus appearance— the primary traits
that determine your personality. Based on your
responses, we determined your personality type,
Lethal Weapon.

And that's just scratching the surface.

What's Your Best Quality?

Jeremi, your best quality shines through in how
Creative you are?

The fact that you're an inventive and creative person
who usually has an abundance of imagination and ideas
really draws people to you! But that's not the only
thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're an
independent person who is usually able to handle
things in a self-sufficient manner.
You are a smart person who is more able to
understand complex concepts than
many other people are, too.

In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you
when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential
employers, friends, and partners look for in you.
What makes you unique is your particular distribution
of those 15 qualities.

We've found that your particular combination of
qualities is rare — only 1 in 10,000 people share the
same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if
you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague,
friend, or date why you're exactly the right person
for them.

The Power Quotient:

Jeremi, on a scale of 1-100,
your Power Quotient is 94!

With a strong Power Quotient like yours, we can
tell you're the kind of person people look to
for answers. You aren't afraid to speak your mind
and have no qualms about taking a leadership role.

But you can learn to take what you already do
well and use it to be even more influential.

Find out how easy it is to win people over and
get what you want out of life in your personalized
Power Quotient Report. It's ready right now!
And Baby it'll make you want to murder the
house that rape built.

The Brain Test:

Jeremi, you are bilatteraly Right-brained

Most right-brained people like you are flexible in
many realms of their lives. Whether picking up on
the nuances of musical concerto, appreciating the
subtle details in a work of art, or seeing the world
from a different perspective, right-brained people
are creative, imaginative, and attuned to their surroundings.

People probably see your thinking process as boundless,
and that might translate to your physical surroundings
as well. Some people think of you as messier than others.
It's not that you're disorganized, it's just that you
might use different systems to organize (by theme,
by subject, by color). Straight alphabetization and
rigidly ordered folders are not typical of
right-brained behavior. but since you are also
left brained in times of stress. you probably tend
to clean compulsively in stressfull situations.

You are also more intuitive than many. When it comes
to reading literature, you probably prefer creative
writing or fiction over nonfiction. And when it comes
to doing math, you might find you enjoy geometry more
than other forms like algebra.

Your Brain Type Report will describe how and why each
of the responses you chose while answering the Brain
Test revealed that you are left-brain dominant. It's
ready right now! But I am guessing that it's murder.
Not to go out on a limb that is.

Congratulations, Jeremi!

Your IQ score is 133:

This number is the result of a formula based on
how many questions you answered correctly on Emode's Ultimate
IQ test. Your IQ score is scientifically
accurate; to read more about the science behind
our IQ test, click here.

During the test, you answered four different
types of questions — mathematical, visual-spatial,
linguistic and logical. We were able to analyze
how you did on of those questions, which reveals
the way your brain processes information.

We also compared your answers with others who
have taken the test, and according to the sorts
of questions you got correct, we can tell your
Intelectual Type is an Inventive Inquisitor.

You have the unusual distinction of being equally
good at math and verbal skills. This means you are
a creative thinker and are uniquely good at teaching
others through experiences. You are also a great
improviser and very good at handling change.
Like murder.

The Emotional IQ Test:

Jeremi, your Emotional IQ is 135.

This number is the result of a formula based on
how many questions you answered correctly on Emode's
Emotional IQ test. But your Emotional IQ score is
much more than just a number: it's an indicator
of success.

Research has shown that people with high emotional
intelligence scores — not necessarily those with
the highest IQ scores — tend to be the most valued
and productive employees and have the longest and
happiest romantic relationships.

So, where are you most emotionally smart? Your test
results show that your strongest suit is empathy —
your ability to see things from someone else's point
of view. And how you approach them? Could be murder.

The Enneagram Test:

Jeremi, you're a Type 5 - The Experimenter

Friends, family, and colleagues probably appreciate
your probing intelligence and open-minded approach to
life. They're also apt to know that when they come to
you with a problem, you can be counted on to give them
a carefully considered answer based on keen
observations. As an Experimenter, you're likely to be
seen as a capable and competent individual with a
visionary outlook.

Being a member of this type puts you in good company.
Renowned painter Georgia O'Keefe, with her reclusive
nature and intense focus on her craft, and Albert
Einstein, with his groundbreaking theorems and
unprecedented view of the space-time continuum,
were also Type 5s.

This means that compared to the eight other
Enneagram types, you have a strong sense of
perception as well as a curious and innovative mind.
In fact, like many Experimenters, you have a strong
drive to understand how things work.

Original Inkblot Test:
 
Jeremi, your unconscious mind is driven most
by Imagination

This means you have a deep desire to use innovative
ideas to enhance your life and influence the world
around you. This drive influences you far more than
you may realize on a conscious level.

Your need to be innovative drives how you look at
new opportunities and the kinds of experiences in
life you choose to have. On an unconscious level,
the reason you may be so driven by imagination is
your fear of destruction, the opposite of creation.
When you are unable to create due to restrictions
imposed by your environment or even ones you
unwittingly impose on yourself, do you feel trapped
or confined? You may find these feelings of unease
only get better when you find another outlet for
your imagination.

With such a strong creative orientation, you are
willing to entertain a broad spectrum of ideas at
any given time. The world is a fuller, richer place
because you can contribute new ideas to any experience.
Your natural curiosity inspires those around you,
and encourages them to come up with ideas they
wouldn't have thought of without your help.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly
by Imagination, there is much more to who you are at
your core.

The ESP Test:

Jeremi, when it comes to psychic abilities, you
have an unusually strong talent in the area of
Precognition.

This means you have an uncanny ability to look into
the future and know ahead of time what is going to
happen. You might, for instance, simply know that
you're going to get that job before the interview
even happens with a certainty that exceeds what you
would expect to have simply knowing the facts of
the situation.

You might have a sense of dread before going out for
the evening only to later have a flat tire on your
way home. These little hunches are easy to ignore
but for you especially, quite often lead to a true prediction
of what is going to happen. These predictions can be used
to generate positive outcomes, and the more you know about
how to use your talent, the more you will be able to distinguish
between fantasy of the future and an actual reality
you are seeing happen, before it has actually happened.

While your strongest psychic talent is Precognition,
Emode also analyzed your psychic strengths in:

Retrocognition : The ability to know what happened
in the past.

Clairvoyance : The ability to "see" the unknown.

Remote viewing : The ability to see physical objects
at a distance.

Telepathy : The ability to tune into others' thoughts.

The Multiple Intelligences Test:

Jeremi, you're smartest when it comes to physical intelligence

Whether you possess a greater level of athletic
prowess than the people around you or have the
graceful movements of a dancer, chances are you're
able to direct your body with precision while others
trip over their own shoelaces. Physical intelligence
refers to the power to control one's body movements
for achievement or expression. If you're not the
active type, it doesn't mean you don't have this
strength. It simply means that you're probably
putting it to use in another way.

Working with your hands on anything from carpentry
to surgery is another way your physical skills can
manifest themselves. Regardless of exactly how
you're using this intelligence today, you probably
have admirers watching your moves.
 
Jeremi, your Super IQ score is 125

Your overall intelligence quotient is the result
of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many
questions you answered correctly. But it's only part
of what we learned about you from your answers on the
test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist.
This means you are a highly intelligent,
complex person. You are able to process information
of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity
and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to
others you also have a very rich imagination.

How did we determine that your thinking style is
that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your
test results further, we analyzed how you scored on
8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract
reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal,
visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored
highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist
Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination
of abilities.

Right Job, Wrong Job

Jeremi, the Right Job for you will allow you to be:

Creative and Analytical:

You're a visionary in many people's eyes — able to
think outside of the box to come up with your own solutions.
You're creative not necessarily in the
artistic sense, but because you can expand your
mind to do things differently from others.

It might take a while for colleagues to recognize
and reward you for your entrepreneurial spirit and abilities.
That could be because they envy you, or
because they find your ideas slightly rebellious—
willing to go against the current.

All in all, you make it hard for people to pigeon
hole you. That is why you, more than others, need
a job that allows you to play to your strengths,
break out of the mold, and truly excel.

Want to know what your #1 right job for you is?

MURDER!

Career Personality Test:

Jeremi, your career personality type is ENFJ.

That means that based on the standard measure of
personality traits, your natural leadership skills
make you the go-to person during times of crisis or
needed inspiration. You are blessed with the ability
to maintain balance in the office or motivate others
to join the team. You possess excellent communication
and people skills, and help maintain a positive work atmosphere
that allows people to grow. You remain
focused and encourage others to reach a common goal.

You dislike office politics and try not to get
involved in the murk. Instead, you rise above it
all with your understanding nature. You like taking
control of situations and projects, but do not flaunt
your power in people's faces. You have a deft touch
and inspire others with your magnetic charisma.
You are well organized and are a strong multi-tasker.

The reason employers and recruiters might be on the
lookout for you is that only about 3-5% of the U.S. population
shares the unique characteristics of your personality type.
Research shows that businesses
succeed when employers create a good balance of
personality types in the office. And since only
3-5% of the U.S. population shares your type, that
means employers are looking for you. Little do they
know... you are looking for them too.

But, to truly show employers what you have to offer,
you need to understand a little more about traits
that make up your type.

The Freud Test:

Jeremi, Freud would say your strongest unconscious
conflict stems from events that happened when you
were a Toddler.

He would also conclude that relative to others,
your personality today is moderately affected by
the events of your childhood. It appears that your
biggest unconscious conflict that still afflicts
you stems from what Freud defined as the anal
stage of development that occurred when you were
between a year and a half and three years old.
Freud would say that this conflict can manifest
in your personality by giving you a tendency to be
especially orderly or clean, or "retentive."
You may also harbor a strong rebellious streak.
This normally happens when parents toilet-train a
child on some kind of schedule, rather than at the
child's natural pace and the child naturally reacts
by struggling for their autonomy and the legitimacy
of their needs.

Freud defined five psychosexual developmental stages
that everyone goes through on their way from infancy
to adolescence. And each of those stages is associated
with adult personality traits. At each stage, we all
had to overcome certain "conflicts" or hurdles as we
learned new skills and developed relationships with
others. No one gets through all five stages without
having trouble with at least one of them. And it's
this unresolved "trouble" that Freud encouraged
people to travel back to, recognize, and overcome.  

The Brainteaser Test:
 
Jeremi, you answered 25 out of 30 questions correctly!

Congratulations! Your score is in the 96th percentile.
This means that if one hundred people took the test
with you, your score would rank higher than 95 of
them on average.

When we analyzed your test, we also discovered that
when it comes to linguistic-mathematical ability,
you measure in the 100th  percentile. This score
indicates you have unusually strong abilities when
it comes to  understanding numerical representation
in words or "word problems." You're highly proficient
at translating words into numbers. This can be very
useful when solving a problem in real life. When people
are discussing a vague problem that needs a specific solution,
you're able to cut through the extraneous information
to a clear answer. And that answer is love with a side
order of MURDER!

Author notes

Love makes me fibrilate
Written January 13th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • SomnusLupus
    December 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    'tis cool.


  • Ashley Mosely
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    whoa
    that didnt take forever to read lol-ok torwards the end i'll admit that i started to skim-but it reall is a fantastic write and good luck with your recent publishing

    ash


  • horus8 gold member
    December 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    No, dogbeat took third place, somehow you were sent his message.
    I apologize


  • SomnusLupus
    December 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I've crossed paths with him once or twice.

    never read much of his stuff. I'll check it out.

  • horus8 gold member
    December 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    You know dogbeat?


  • SomnusLupus
    December 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    did i honestly? that's insane. thanks for viewing me so highly (i looked at the other people entering and groaned), I'll send you the address and stuff.

    and it's cool (I actually don't remember when it is you were an asshole, but i believe it). plus, I do the same thing all the time. Sometimes when I'm in a shit mood, I just go hit random and attack arbitrary people. You should try it, makes for great fun.

    - Adam


  • horus8 gold member
    December 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I wanted to tell you now, before the fact
    When I announce it (about my contest)
    You took the bronze mate, and man the
    Competition was stiff, so you get a disc
    I need your address or P.O. box and wich
    Disc you'd like:

    Emotionally Unavailable
    Gangbox
    Junk Jazz

    Also; Please accept my apology
    For being an asshole, I was wrong,
    You're a very talented writer.

    Sincerely,

    Jeremi B. Handrinos

    Horus8


  • SomnusLupus
    December 20, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    no one seems to touch on the satirical edge in the fact that you edited the results to include murder. Everyone goes on about how they took the same tests, but did theirs include that their ideal profession was murder? I think not. Not only does this have a bit (intentionally or accidentally) to say about society's creation of killers, it is brilliantly funny. Something about taking something we all know and showing us something we pretend not to...

    amen. and a couple mg's of a dioxin.


  • shastadaisey123
    June 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I have read this short piece as well as the comments and one shining thought occurs to me...would it now be wild if in the future all men and women are "required" to take this type of test prior to obtaining a marriage license?...you may have "discovered" the way to stop rampant divorce...lol..I shall go now anad eat a twinkie with a glass of milk...I always do this when I am blown away by a write...good luck in the contest...freda

  • rgrpaperboy
    June 22, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    INteresting poem. Much luck in the contest Rick


  • Barbie
    June 21, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Hang on, surely the author of this piece is emode.com? Damnit, that site is so darned addictive but they have no new tests... Ah well, I always have allpoetry.com. Okay, why am I telling you this? I have no idea, I shall be leaving now. Barbie. Xx


  • Nam
    June 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    i once took a test like this, i had to, i was joining the army. i ended up killing my recruiter, but, in the end they still let me join - go figure.

    i guess that all us enfj's are alike, we should all then commit suicide, with a side of fries of course.


  • clamchoder
    February 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Wow a little free time goes too far, i'd say i've been here but sadly i'm not as big a loser as you are in this poem trying to find out your personality and all this shit just because of the mommy thing...wow this is so insanely sad for once i don't envy you yet i pity you for ever having this much free time...jesus...i like it though it shows how pathetic we can be sometimes when what someone says gets to us.

  • horus8 gold member
    January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I know, it was one boring summer. I was really cooped up too much.


  • horus8 gold member
    January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Did I tell you I was auditioning for mcdonalds today? God that we be a great gig, national commercial, we would be rolling again, and I could start eating, again. I haven't had a good gig and forever. People either really like me, or try to kill me. It's just that way I guess.


  • Naughtygrlred
    January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    how funny i took those same emode tests
    Edited on Jan 14, 10:54 because ''.


  • January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    (OK, I'll admit to slightly editing some of this...)

    Sarah, your most unique quality is that you're unusually Inspirational

    You inspire others around you with your creative energy and thirst for new experiences. Weeeha. You are exceptionally curious and aren't afraid of learning new things (even if they involve sliminess)— which is probably because you tend to focus on the potential positive outcome of any experience rather than dwelling on the crusted batshit. You are a true explorer in the word. You want to understand and experience it all, and you're especially open to new feelings and ideas and sexual positions. Compared to others who are open, you are unusually imaginative. Only 1.8% of all test takers have this unique combination of personality strengths.

    The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. And while eating a sandwich. Compared to boring morons, you also have a very rich imagination.

    How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 9 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual numerical, and tasty. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.

    Sarah, your theme song is Dancing Queen!

    Sarah, you're a Comfort Cranberry

    Very sweet with just a tad of tart makes you irresistible to be around. It seems like you've found a great balance between spontaneity and practicality — which is a very difficult task. You've managed to tap into an incredible source of fun while staying grounded and checking in with yourself. Good for you.

    Grab a tumbler, and one for your friends. Add some ice, 1 and a half oz of Southern Comfort, a lime wedge, and some cranberry juice. Then proceed to indulge until everyone else passes out, so you can take advantage of them sexually.

    Sarah, in your soap opera scenario, you're The Double-Crosser

    The Double-Crosser's that wily character who works their way into everyone's lives, good graces, and beds. That's because on the surface, they're so appealing that many people can't even see the Double-Crosser's secret agenda. Heh-heh-heh.

    Sarah, your sexual personality is Omega-ETDN-10.

    As an Omega, you are someone who feels sexy, looks sexy, and really knows how to tie the ropes when it comes to lovemaking. Your sex appeal is more overt than boring morons, and your sexual confidence and awareness are particularly high. You bet.

    How do we know this? How do we know that you focus more on the emotional than the physical connection with your partner while having sex, and that you also posess an irrational fondness for ice cubes?

    We asked your boyfriend.

    Sarah, your subconscious mind is driven most by Love

    Everyone has a desire to love. But your desire is rooted very deeply in your unconscious and affects many of the decisions you make in life — whether you are aware of it or not.

    You have an energy about you that inspires people to experience their true feelings of love and act kindly towards others. In this way, you and your drive for loving relationships start a chain reaction of positive experiences.
    Remember that this is a gift you have and one most others don't possess. You are therefore doomed to a life of pitiful solitude. Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?

    Sarah, you're a Skydiver!

    Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types - your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Skydiver which means you are a Seeker - Golden Your primary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Golden" characteristics. This means you are constantly seeking golden showers.

    That means you're open minded, extroverted, free-spirited, and independent. Chances are you're pretty liberal, and you eat cheese on your apple pie. You're like a magnet for love and affection and weirdos. People adore you, though they usually can't figure out why. And, thanks to that healthy dose of self-confidence, and practice in bellydancing, you're super-flexible.

    How do we know all this? How do we know you're a great leader at work? Or that you're a self-starter and will always volunteer to take on a job? How could we have divined that you're an excellent communicator and tend to spread your enthusiasm to others? We fucking made it up.


    Edited on Jan 13, 1:30 p.m. because 'italic attack of the damned slashes'.


  • January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is great... I took a lot of these tests... I shall look up my results and leave them here for the purpose of your amusement.


  • plinkyponk
    January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    yes he gets the job in macdonalds. we are all quietly simmering us lot here down at the bottom....we are all crazy and personality comes from being mixed up and crazy. anyone who doesnt have a personality is normal.as usual i love the way that you wirte and you always come up with something new and someone wrote that about me so my personality is telling me its okay to say that. does everyone like the ego massaged and when you get rid of your ego do you lack personality.now its funny you should mention him being a murderer becasue apparently surgeons are mildly psychpathic and egomaniacs or whatever the stupid world is i forget...anyway they have to be slightly bonkers to stick great big knives in people and rip bits out. they arent frightened of blood you see....or themselves. if we are frightned of blood and guts are we frightened of ourselves as after all we are sort of bags of blood and guts with skin holding it all in. well thanks for a very nice piece of work and for making me feel sane again. its nice to be able to discuss things when i am not allowed to see a psychologist for some reason they wont let me. dont know why. perhaps you have to try to kill yourself first and then they let you see one. or try to kill someone else. Britain is like that America is much more advanced with its insane inmates whereas britain just tends to drug people. anyway i must stop before i start rambling on about nothing in particular as sometimes i have been known to goon on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on so i will go then now...thanks for a nice read and for being so clever and so very articulate. you are wasted working in macdonalds but at least you get to see some raw meat....bye bye ...i feel sad leaving this page now ....encore


  • B2oH
    January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting and Fresh

    Hanging out on Emode again are we? Ah, a site of sights, sounds and emotional analytical musing -- where one can connect with their inner them as opposed to actually getting up from the chair and walking about the physical world where death lurks in your neighbor's eyes and the squirrels run the show. Oh yeah...she's in the kitchen with a knife and she ain't just making a sandwich...

    This is new, fresh and yet culled from the remains of last nights supper - a lovely little exploration into the mind of a murderer who could yet learn to culture a bit of life before expiring in a blaze of automatic weapons fire and large explosions of a dangerous type.

    Your horoscope today: Sharing is caring and this lesson will be brought home in handcuffs in the near future. Small furry creatures are not to be trusted and beware the bright lights - sometimes they do more than blind.

    Thanks for the write. I enjoyed this.


  • cvillelisa
    January 13, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    "I understand completely, Jeremi. Tell me more about how you FEEL? Come lie down on the couch, dear one. You know the oath of this practice, you poem I listen and together we therapy."

1 - 21 of 21