Who Am I by Pisces rainbow at All poetry

Primordial wisdom,

impels us to know who we are.

Beneath outer veil,

seeking transcendental star.

Existence is one, indivisible;

non dual state,

Absolute unity, ultimate reality;

unravels our fate.

Unique path to each,

searching to find.

Hidden treasure of wisdom,

transcending human mind.

Identifying consciousness,

through fruits of tree.

Winding branches,

leads to unity.

Author notes

OPT.3

A contest entry

Knowledge is treasure by Purush. 450 points, ended August 21, 2008, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Deep Options to Meet Deep Poets II by City-of-Angels. 425 points, ended September 28, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Everyone's a Critic by dewfall. 800 points, ended October 18, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
dewfall
October 18, 2008
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this twists and winds... searching the self is just such a path
City-of-Angels
September 19, 2008
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Lol..when I said feel free to enter in this contest I ment feel free to enter a new poem. I'll admit this relates to the option a lot better though.
City-of-Angels
September 2, 2008
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Ohh, nice. This was something I was really looking for in option 3.
"Primordial wisdom,
impels us to know who we are.
Beneath outer veil,
seeking transcendental star"

Great first stanza Us humans always have this natural instinct to find out who we are in this universe, and what our purpose is. Thanks for the entry and good luck
trekkergirl
August 15, 2008

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good write. Kind of hinted at some religions here... the fuit of tree... tree of knowledge. Good job
JBudRos
August 14, 2008

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ahh this one again...I remember you.
Again just another poem that brings a consistence to my life.
Bravo
Rayne Maker
August 14, 2008

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This is a great poem to make a person think about life and its meaning. The rhyme scheme is perfect in how it helps the poem flow without seeming forced. Keep up the good work!
xCandieKissesx
August 14, 2008

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Lovely.
Unique path to each,
searching to find.
Hidden treasure of wisdom,
transcending human mind.

Very unique and powerful. I love the rhyme scheme because it's not forced at all! Great job and good luck!
cbizzle
August 14, 2008
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!m!(>.<)!m!
DreamerOfTheStars
August 14, 2008

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this is very deep I loved it the thoughts that you put into it would make anyone consider the question of life...this was extremely well written... did I say that I loved it???
Love always~Steph
darrylblacksr
August 14, 2008

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Great depth of the dimension of reality and the thoughts and ideas that form the great question of life. So well done my friend....
Thoughts-of-Soloman
August 14, 2008

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Great to see such a direct 'pointing' to the 'Unity of Being'.
I look forward to taking an interest in more of your 'writes'.
This is wonderful to see... the only ingredient missing here for me, in the poem, would be a correlation between 'Love' and 'Knowledge'. It seems you have used 'wisdom' which of course still sits well and points to the same, yet I feel it could be made even more direct and to include the quality of 'Generosity' and 'Heart'.

That is the only critique I find and this still leaves me with a truly wonderful poem to read!

Excellent work!

Sol
I-Am-Custard
August 14, 2008

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Doesn't ring my bells, but good use of words. You've obviously got a great vocabulary and used it well here. I like my poems to be personal, this is huge in scale, encompassing everything, which is very possibly what you were aiming for. I just needed that personal touch to ground it to real life and make it sing to me.
Well written though, deserving of the feature section even if it's not to my taste.
hitthispuppy
August 14, 2008

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nice work
Identifying consciousness,
through fruits of tree.
Winding branches,
leads to unity.

Interesting i think. The knowledge that would cost us Eden, is the awareness that "we are", and it is the branches of humanity that keeps us all united. It doesn't matter how connected, or solitary our lives, "we are", is the branch, no matter how slight, that connects us forever.
Good, interesting, and disjointed, (not necessarily a bad thing). I think I will visit some of your work, to see if this is a style, or just a visit. Thanks.
Mairi bheag
August 14, 2008

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Doesn't really do it for me, BUT I can see there is something to appreciate here. The language, shorn of articles, pushes and pushes - it seems urgent, as if you are utterly compelled to get the philosophical point over.
Ace - LightWithinMe
August 13, 2008
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Hello. I just saw this on the home page spotlight thing, about time you were featured, although I have to admit there are other poems of yours which I consider to be better, either way makes no difference, you should be read by more people. My regards.
Life is a Beach
August 13, 2008
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Lovely indeed! Great message of the interconnectedness of everything! Pam
JBudRos
August 13, 2008
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This poem gives me just another reason to continue reading poetry...
StarEyes
August 13, 2008

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This is deep, and powerful! What a wonderful take on this contest, "Knowledge is treasure" WOW!!

We all have our own paths that we travel, passing each other as we go, there are some that even though they may no longer be with us physically, we find ourselves remembering things they said, they taught us, they gave to us, and hence affecting how we see things. I have one like that for me. And well would not trade it for the world. This person gave me the courage to follow my heart and my dreams, to reach for the stars, and because they believed in me so strongly, I did not give up when I wanted to and now I am rewarded with the knowledge that they were right, and I can live in my dream world as my reality! And for that I have to thank this person once again...

Ok, enough ranting

You did a wonderful job on this one!!

Best of luck in this contest!
Kalamina
August 13, 2008
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Very deep and complex, great poem, your rhyming was really well done, great write!
Bleeding Laughter
August 13, 2008
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kool
it very well written, i like the fact that you bring significance to the insignificance.
Michael H.
August 13, 2008

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I lean towards dualism myself. It's the only way I can make sense out of reality. But I loved your poem. Good job.
maa
August 12, 2008
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another jewel for my non-dual-wisdom-treasure-chest !
I will have to start to host one of my non-duality contests again soon ... I am missing the sharing of simple truth with my like-hearted friends here on ap ...
you just gave me a wonderful motivation ...

thank you,
marion
ourgirlFriday
August 11, 2008

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Wow.
This is really deep...I feel like I've come out of philosophy class. There's a lot here to read and get out of it all, that's for sure. Best of luck in the contest!
Providence
August 9, 2008
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Lovely. As human beings we tend to claim our consiousness (our soul). Even thouse who remember it treat it like a precious heirloom belonging all to them alone. This reminds us that while we are on a human path, our common Soul is leading us to unity!

Well done!

Marianne
Ace - LightWithinMe
August 9, 2008

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Hello.

Existence is spelt wrong, and "nondual" isn't a word, you will have to split it. Anyway, your write, I agree with a lot of what is in here, self-discovery, the veil, how we all have our own path, and your last stanza is very poetic and nicely put, and by far your best stanza.

I noticed that you have to have it between 40-50 words, and yours is 58.
And it is a little wordy, so try taking out some from "impels us to know who we are", and using "self-discovery" in there somewhere, but you would have to change "star" in the fourth line. You could take the "we" out of the first stanza fourth line. Just my 2 cents. That whole 2nd stanza doesn't read right to me, compared to the flow in all other stanza's that has a stop start read to it, obviously due to the commas. That's four cents now, hahaha.

I wish you well in the contest. My regards.
Sandygram
August 9, 2008

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You have pened an amazing poem. Your vocab and imagery are pure perfection!! Thank you for sharing your amazing talent. Take care.

Blessings,
Sandy
goalsv
August 8, 2008

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Very smooth write and very profound. I love the third stanza. A very good look at the picture. Surely an inspiration.
Purush
August 8, 2008

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YOUR THOUGHTS TOUCH THE PEAK OF WISDOM.
chosen words at appropriate places makes the verse glittering.
all my worry is
"The poem must be between 40 to 50 words"
if you can edit it abridging the length,
I hope i can place it on the top as my favourite
AsIThink
August 8, 2008

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Very nice piece. It was such a different take... "Primordial wisdom within,
impels us to know who we are." Well, I think that is the impetus. Then -- we come (often gradually it seems) to a fuller, more complex realization of who we are; some people seem almost 'destined' to never really be in touch with themselves. This was one I did a while ago with the same title:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3875375
This was a 'spirited', relaxed and (I think) tranquil piece. Wonderful job here Pisces.
Swangrnv
August 8, 2008
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wonderful!
Always the positive one my sis, you're such an inspiration to others! great write.
who iam
August 8, 2008

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Excellent Take on Life!
Isn't it amazing what a picture can add to a beautfully written poem!You have mastered them both with this write.Well stated.
We are blessed by the roads He takes us on during our lifetime.
Destiny is surreal...
echo-ink
August 8, 2008

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WOW!!!!
This was awesome, indeed, my little sister. all true and written with such passion.You out-do yourself with every poem you write. loved this so much, I'm bookmarking it, Yessa!
Love, Sissy xx
Malabu
August 8, 2008
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we are all unique as god intended...we travel different roads...yet we pass one another along the way...some people remain in our lives...others just affect us at a time of need...we all have purpose...still looking for mine...love the thoughts you bring here....
mal