sparkling pool, empty
filter hum sounds less urgent~
a shiny school bus
In a list
A contest entry
- Haiku and Bless You! by azure85.
4500 points, ended August 22, 2008, 57 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Hood-Winked
I loved this one! But isn't this really a Senryu?
I'm just glad I don't have a suburban pool anymore with all that beauty (and work!)
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Ah... no... no! Not going back to school
I'd stay hiding in the pool
Awesome write
Good luck with your entry ^^
Claire x -
Aha!
Well done! There's the aha I'm missing in a lot of my Haiku attempts. Nice job. Nice imagery. I guess it's cooler where you are...or it seems September is closer! I'm seeing that many do take liberties with this style. Hey...this is great...all the best in the contest. I can tell you don't live in the city. The buses here aren't shiny!
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I really like this poem
although the busses always used to take us to swimming in the afternoon then we would have to walk home 
beautiuflly done, I really like the middle line, it captures the relaxation perfectly!
Keep writing
Polly
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Its a nice haiku. My only suggestion is not to use two- ing words from the menu.
Charishma
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Charishma
Thanks for the reply and the advice. I am confused as to what menu!
Dennis
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Our lot go back Sept 4th ish!
Bow to the Haiku Prince!
Quality ku-ing!
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Greeting friend, I have missed you! Thanks for the kind words. I must let you know, I am not a Prince but rather the Haiku court jester
Thanks again!
Dennis
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Yup, if the bus is filled, the pool is empty. Got to love those outdoor pools in the summer time.
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awwww. Poor kiddies
back to school for them. Lonely pool ... perhaps the children will learn haiku 
*roses*
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sparkling pool empty
filter hum sounds less urgent~
a shiny school buss
A great look at the back to front yard, with the empty pool and the the school bus. Thank you so much!
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awww this is a lovely haiku, wonderful job and good luck in the contest. take care
Stephanie ♥
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