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Black Shang

Western winds scented
of African orchids
drifting towards ancient
eastern pavilions
recalling ages long passed

Xia and Shang
painted black
through the middle east sands
became farmers along
the shangxi river.

Tales of Hu Nak Kunte
spoken in mandig tongue
are born and praised

The black birds soar in
west above Angyang, 
situated under ten stars

Author notes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFhS-49WGGY

if you wanna understand this poem click here

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Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • Damaged-Rose
    February 4

    Edit | Reply

    Awsome!

    I loved the way you put this poem together. I thought it was an excellent piece. keep up the good work. I truely enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.


  • Draig aine gold member
    February 4
    Edit | Reply

    wonderful write

    beautiful flow and \i leaned something too!!
    thanks for shareing this


  • Ez Writer silver member
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Awesome write !! Very eloquent !
    _ situated under ten stars _ that's
    where i would have ended it , the
    last two lines seem to take away
    from this excellent flow .
    Great read !!
    Best regards ! Friend Easy


  • Lislaine
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Very
    entertaining...
    even
    before
    the
    link

    Wow
    you
    have
    a
    great
    talent!
    I
    loved
    it
    so
    much!!


  • Jeremy0826 silver member
    January 23

    Edit | Reply
    Well done and thanks a lot for passing
    this link along! I look forward to reading
    more from you!



    Jeremy0826


  • Cat gold member
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    -


  • afroqban
    September 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Kick Ass take. im inspired


  • unavailable
    September 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed listening to the link!

    I'm glad youfeatured this
    Even before the link I enjoyed reading your feature.


  • Da-Lyricologist
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is really different, it's not your everyday poems, very informative and entertaining. excellente

  • U.g.l.y.
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A poem about the black roots of an Asian nation... interesting, although if that's the case, I wouldn't associate blackness with Africa anymore, or maybe you should correct me. Sorry for being so late.


  • moluv10
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    i really like this bro! i love your imagery. your flow is very creative. keep on writing!!

  • Kalamina
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Original flow, i liked the beginning about the smells, great write!

  • myagirl
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was a bit different! A very interesting read!


  • Room without doors gold member
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding

    After listening to the video this made a lot more sense. I found the poem fasinating. I thought the imagery was really strong - the only change I'd suggest is cutting out the last two lines. This is because they don't add anything to the poem, they are not relevant in the way the rest of the poem is and I think it would be stronger without them. Hope you don't mind me making this suggestion but I am giving my real opinion. Over-all this poem is well-crafted with a good choice of language and a lot of sensitivity. Thank you for posting.


  • PerfectTonight
    August 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really appreciate the depth and thought that went into this piece. The flow was a little 'off' but I don't think that was the point, so it really was not distracting.

    I really appreciated this...very original!!

1 - 16 of 16