I feel nothing,
I look at the paper
and I feel nothing
I look at the want adds for the day
and I feel nothing
I look at the walls
and I feel nothing
I look at my world inside them
and I feel nothing
I look at the cute kitty in the window
and I feel nothing
I look out into the world beyond the glass
and gaze into a universe of nothing
I look at all the colors under the noon day sun
and all I behold are gray hues of nothing
I look at the things which once brought pleasure
and all I feel is weight upon my being
I toss and turn in bed with hollow heart
praying to time for the coma to creep
and when I wake I feel disappointment
that I did not die in my sleep
Author notes
Depression is not fun at all.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Its been a while since I have been on this site. I am sorry I haven't got back here and been able to read some of your wonderful work.
I feel sad after reading this.. My heart goes out to you!
Your poem really touches my heart as I have been through my share of dissapointments myself lately. It really hits home.
May God Bless you always.
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Sorry I've taken so long to read your works...
No it is not, my friend. How much I felt like this last night! I am so very sorry that you experience this; I hope it has past you by, by now. I wish much for you, and it certainly does not include this sort of feeling. This is a powerful, powerful poem. Nearly knocks me down with the sheer coldness and pain I feel from it. Very good write.
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I toss and turn in bed with hollow heart
praying to time for the coma to creep
amazingly powerful lines. You did a great job at capturing the palet of gray meaningless existance that depression leaves. Good job.
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First of all, love the title...a word like "weight" is so fitting when speaking of depression. And also, that you say "..my world" in the title and not "the world". For it is our personal worlds that fall and leave us with no footing..."the world" is still there, turning-turning the same as always. Loss is hard and I fear that cannot say anything that will make your "weight" any less. I can offer a
and my words, and my hope that one day, you will see the colors that lay in noon day sun!
Peace and love-Slightly
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Thank you again Val. It really helps to hear from one who cares. I am dealing but its not easy when you place so much of your heart into someone and they part ways. Little things do go a long way in the long run.
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Now I am heartbroken......
I love this, I love everything that you write. I remember being there....even now at times when the world seems to sit on our shoulders.
Never die on me, my dear Jamie....for this very poem would be me without you.....
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depression is certainly not fun and yet it's easier to be depressed than happy. *hugs* It's been a while since we've talked but I felt like dropping a line. I do believe I have felt that a time or two...sorry you're feeling this way. I hope your mood improves.
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-clings- jamesy bear i lovers you muchos and i hate the fact that you are depressed but this is very well written and clearly shows your depression... even if i dont like it >.<
lovers you still caveman..
kitty!
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Wow, I'm so sorry that you've been feeling this way, my friend, but I do have to say that I'm glad you're writing these emotions out the best you can. It may be personal and deep, but poetry oftentimes has a way of easing the tension on the mind and heart. I can't say that I know what you're going through and how you're truly feeling because I don't, but I CAN say this: If you need a friend - I'm here. I'm always willing to listen, and I'll always make the time for you. HUGS. Feel better! You're loved unconditionally.
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I find it interesting that we dont ask for depression it just chooses us, a test of our faith in HOPE.
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Everything was nothing.Good choice for the background and the color you wrote with cause they both seem sad.
Everything you looked at wasn't there emotionally so I think the whole world was empty.This means despair.
"i look at the cute kitty in the window" How can it be cute if you are feeling nothing.Only if you can feel then you'll feel the kitty is cute.
It was a good way to end your poem with those 2 lines that explained the whole sadness that you reached now for wishing death and being disappointed for being still alive.
I hope I posted a good comment not a meaningless one
Thank you. -
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Nah I understand what you mean about the "Cute kitty" part. To be honest I thought a moment on that also while writing but for this write I wanted to keep it more pure to my feeling at the time rather than try to refine it too much. (If that makes sense). My take is that well even though in the moment the kitty might not evoke the power of cute, the kitty once did. Its kind of an outside leak in perception, intentional or subconscious. So fear not, your comment is productive and thank you for reading.
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