Laying there in Flanders field
trodden by the boots of war,
memories forever sealed
never more their thoughts to yield.
Fragments,lost midst rock and clay
thoughts of love once real and warm,
will not tire or memories fray,
swarms of dreams that came to stay.
On paper words unspoken,
’bout the war of their dismay,
from old hearts steeled and broken
and young hearts barely woken,
as hell was breaking away.
Lover’s poems some unsurpassed
ne’er to see the light of day,
saturate each blade of grass,
blood red poppies weep en-mass-
songbirds fly a silent pass,
where dead of Old England lay.
Author notes
The 1914 18 war
A contest entry
- Rhyme and Flow part 8 Memories - 50,000 points series by cricketjeff.
4000 points, ended August 23, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lest We Forget by Cupcrazy.
1750 points, ended November 23, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In the style of. by Aedara-Wren.
1200 points, ended March 8, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Ultimate La-La Challenge "Auditions" by Laura Lamarca.
850 points, ended August 13, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Overall I found this nostalgic and pleasant to read. You did very well. I wish you luck in this challenge.
~Hettie
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I could have sworn I commented on this a second ago but apparently it didn't work. Its a really great poem in all the well known traditions of war poetry. Good luck in the contest.
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A very nice piece, lovely rhythm and flow and the imagery is very well done. Thanks for the fine entry. Hugs, Bunny
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Bandit appreciation!
Thank you for this fine contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the HM
~Lilac
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Interesting romantic period style poem!
Seemingly a poem about WW I? On the dark side, but an enjoyable write! Well developed subject and great flow! I like the title and last few lines! The rhyming is excellent and un-forced! The small twist and salute to "Old England" is very nice at the end! I like this poem! Good work!
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This is a wonderful poem - I really like the imagery in the last stanza - the rhyme scheme adds such a nice rhythm to the piece and it all flows together well
the only thing that I picked up on is that I thought it should be "Flanders'" not "Flander's" - but that could just be me well done!
Keep writing
Polly
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well done the visual images really stand out in this piece almost bringing the reader to the battle field.
May the stars gaurd you today.
DW
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Well this is very visual and well formed... I love it! The words were amazing and the rhyming was just right! Great job!
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Oh my!
This is so visually & mentally stirring.
My heart strings were pulled deeply by this! Glad you won a trophy, am amazed it was only an HM! Loved the flow, the content & the rhyme. Your choice of words was excellent! 
Fine work all around. 
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This reached right down to the bottom of my heart and made me see all
Stunning write!
Congrats on the HM
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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Congratulations on the trophy for this wonderful piece...alby
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An unusual rhyme scheme but a lovely poem on a big theme. Lovely work and a worthy winner of an HM
Sue and I both want to thank you for entering and hope you keep doing so in the later rounds.
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Beautifully Sad...
Thank you for this wonderful piece. It moved me for several reasons. The rime was great; the flow was rhymtic and the tone was echoing in my mind. But more than any other reason, I liked this so much because my son was just sent to Iraq on Tuesday morning... perhaps I would not have read this if I had known its contents - but since I didn't, I was afforded this amazing beauty of a write. For me, these lines reverbed in my brain's refrain:
"young hearts barely woken,
as hell was breaking away." - Great job on this...
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Wow!, you have such a way of weaving your thoughts around a subject. I felt this was somewhat subtle yet very deep in meaning. The way each blade of grass carries memories of past lover's poems and those thoughts linger on is so beautiful and reflective. The silent sadness is felt in your words, just a lovely write...alby
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Thank you alby, I mean to extend this when I get some time, glad you liked it
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