Healthy routines
flush with joy; live longer
days may number over the years
Some doors seem smoother than oil
deceptions are as sweet as maple sirup
straight from the tap
but on the other side
lies a two-edged sword
of bitterness
Those are the deceptive doors
take heed of them
and yield not into corruption
Knowledge is a guide against-
ignorance which is a seed
for disaster.
Wisdom and complete understanding
lead one to the light
see the deceptions as foolishness
and reap rewards beyond understanding
Every moment....
we're surrounded by doors
as we choose which where to go
knowing the truth is soul contentment
live happy and always...
(Mackie)
In between breath,
we sometimes lose conciousness,
like a patient with health issues,
we may lose focus
and a lifelong of sunshine
then becomes meaningless.
Death often comes knocking
when we least expect
and like a crooked cop deprives
of honor and dignity;
it'll rob us from the things
we love the most-
and before we can gather
our blessings and take off;
it strikes us to our very core,
for hours, minutes, seconds
and to our very last breath,
then, we're no more.
In time as such...,
we must show greater strength
for a man's true wealth
lies in his understanding.
In the dawn of our gloomy days,
we must not be afraid
Dying is a passive state
that divulges life's secret
where our flesh die,
as our soul and spirit lead the way.
Author notes
Collaboration with Mackie
a dozenglassroses
"ASILAYDYING"
A contest entry
- Door _ A Collaboration Contest sponsored by ArtFully Me and Cat by Cat.
5000 points, ended August 31, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Kinda Whatever by Redeemed15.
600 points, ended September 2, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Whatever by fairytalelovestory.
875 points, ended September 14, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spiritual Healing by Night Terrors.
550 points, ended September 8, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What you think?
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
I like this and you did well with this and I like the descriptions
cause I like death and the crooked cop part, and its a very visual poem also . so well done and thanks for the great read.
-
but on the other side
lies a two-edged sword
of bitterness
--------------------
that was very god
i need to tell you how much i love this poem
its amazing
i mean really ?
hahahhah
love it
and thank you
and good luck! -
good collaberation. I liked this alot. It reminded me of a song we use to sing as children it went:
One door and only one
And yet its sides are two
I'm on the inside
On which side are you
I love your poem it has a great message. Thanks to both of you for entering this it was great! -
interesting good luck
-
Great poem. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck in both my contest and future contests.
-
Interesting collaboration. Not sure why (Mackie) is sitting there in the middle when the idea of a collaboration - at least to me - is to blend two voices into one rather than draw attention to either writer.
This reads a bit like a list of how to be happy in life mixed with how not to be.
Thanks for your entry.
-
-
Thank you for your comment we appreciate it!
-
-
Very nice collaboration, both parts of the poem flow into one another =]. I liked how you described the choices that we have to make in life as doors to walk through!
GREAT job
diggin it majorly
-
very well written
So true the last stanza. Unless the Lord Jesus comes back before, we all will face a physical death, that is certain. The Bible says we know not the hour that Jesus will return so each one of us need to be sure that we're ready at anytime to meet our Lord and Savior Jesus.
-
Shouldn't it be "as we choose which way to go"
-
I feel like you have some fine moments in this piece- i especially
love the line "dying is a passive state" - I am not sure I completely agree with the contention
but i love the line.
The problem for me with this piece is that i feel like it is sort of just a collection of "tidbits of wisdom"
rather than one
cohesive - collaborative poem- it feels a bit like
a poor synopsis reenactment of every sermon i was forced to sit through
as a child on Sunday.
i do think your voices blend well together and you seemed to have a mutual goal in mind
that you followed through with accordingly.
thanks so much for entering the contest- much appreciated.
I should say as a contest holder to discover that a poem has been "whored out" to so many other contests at the same time- and before judging is completed is a bit distracting.
Mary
-
The path is often littered with false trails....
The sympathic response of the reply was intune completely. Excellent Bravo 
-
It could amost be between floors, in a spiritual sense. The gradual ascend to which many platforms later, gives us that message from the high above. Lifes secret becomes death's also, I feel. Nice little write.
-
Collaborations isn't easy I know I've written a few of them. -- Which makes for even more of a challenge to reach inside the minds of each other. ~ you both did a terrific job! Heartfelt!
Thanks so much for entering the contest, it was my pleasure to read and review your work.
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
-
this was really good i very much enjoyed the read
-
a very good focus on the bitter truths of life...
choosing a door before opening one is wisdom, heeding counsel is the very best thing to do...
an excellent insight...
great write
-
Full of wisdom and truth..A great collaboration!
-
Lovely.
In time as such...,
we must show greater strength
for a man's true wealth
lies in his understanding.
Very uniquely written! Great write and good luck!
-
Huxley would have been proud
Stunning and stopped me in my tracts. Wow!
So classic in nature that I can hardly believe it.
I'm an old Irish poet from SF, seen it all, done some of it. But we could talk a couple of days about what you've touched on.
Lyricle and true that's the heart of it.
Both of you can't equal my years, where did this come from?
Doors open into every direction any vision that you want to see. You're not even close to the end. Wonderful!
A strand of silk
They gather in the corner of the eye
they gain weight
gravity no longer forgives
silently they fall, a special song
we sing it with first cry
never the last, a gentle rain
no two alike
dragging across the skin
a cut within, slowly at first
picking up flakes of flesh
floating in a Saltin Sea
designed to draw the pain away
to sooth the heart, washing aches away
like lead they fall
they know what's best for you
can't be hidden
a bath to cool the fire
better trust'em
a taste of wet at the lips
a strand of silk
Charles Edwin Sammons
Copyright ©2008 Charles Edwin Sammons
-
Humm..I can see the lessons are the results of the acts we do every day..and your words are the truths of this message here in this piece..well done...
-
its a good take on it, just knowing which door to walk through
-
wow
a great collabo. you two! very interesting and a nice joining of talents. lots of luck to you in the contest!
-
Wow I thought you guys did an excellent job. I loved. Thought provoking and deep. I thought you put your heart into this. It came out beautifully. sis. But excellent job.
-
I liked how you started this. The tone of the first couple stanzas was smooth and constant. When I got to the middle, the poem sort of took a more literal turn, and I found it transitioned abruptly. From the part where things get a little literal, they become philosophical later on. The transition was all right but I'm sure you could do better, I'm not really sure what the message of this poem is, but it sounds profound and beautiful. Perhaps if I concentrated more, I would understand it? Thanks for sharing.
-
You two did a wonderful job. I really liked the philosophical feel to this piece.. Very wise words you two.. Wonderfully crafted!! Thanks much for sharing! best of luck in the contest!!
Angel
-
Very wise. I liked it. So philosophical. Knowledge can be dangerous, too.
-
Words of wisedom
Good guide lines for life...mac
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
