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Two jagged lines carved in my
  mind
paused, held back

                                                   .I watch you\\\

[frozen where I stand]
As you take l.i.b.e.r.t.i.e.s.
  with my life (you always do)
lie


doesn't this leave me (and only me, never

forget)
         what you left here

alone except for non.existence
naked in the broken arms
                (tree branches scattered)

//what will it be?

one more mouth[mind]sewed shut
          to keep away the dark
 (what may threaten you)
it's only


but what am I
           any
m.o.r.e   \\\ (you always asked me)



          with what you brought me into
  cradled like [your] a babe
never knowing
               w h a t w i l l b e c o m e//




push.play.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

My first attempt at something resembling dirty pretty. I just think it's a fun form of visual poetry. Gives the eye more to do while the brain tries to read and comprehend.

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A contest entry

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Comments


  • Darkwell
    November 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    brillient! this is a gorgeous scarlet DP so deep you can feel the poem and the razor. just brillient WTG Good luck in the contest
    Easy as 1,2,3. 9.75

    lovely flow and visual in this about wondering where we stand i love the flow and the aprehensions just great dscriptives and pausing WTG good luck in the contest

  • Karei-Ater
    August 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem freaking rocks! I really really like this Danica-san. I didn't used to like e.e. cummings type poetry, but now I really do and I think this one is awesome. I especially like the last line. push.play. Way cool. I think you should do a painting of this or something for me. that would be awesome. Or maybe I'll do one....