The time lost between here and there
The words once spoken:meanings are lost
Past relationships meddle in perfidious affair
Ice caging dead beating heart: Spikes form from frost.
Compressing walls crush my heart: lacerate apart
As you murder me with more melancholy lies
I paint on a smile in yellow: Such fake sirenic art
I Often feel like I'm drowning into your demise
The walls speak falsity hope: as the cracks begin to show
Ice begins to shatter: as my heart is inflicted with pins
Like a voodoo doll I'm hurting: Crushed: an arrow without its bow
As I hear the voices whisper "And so the possession begins"
Healing is all fictional: And I'm screaming for the drug
The medicine solution which will heal all the grievous harm
One pill to ease the stress: another pill to ease hole Ive dug
Drowning into imaginary ecstasy: with all these crimson stains on her arm.
Author notes
Well this was just written for the contest. My muse started going so Yay and i figured it would be good for the contest 
-kitty
Here are the meanings for some of the words in the poem :
- perfidious: deliberately faithless; treacherous; deceitful: a perfidious lover.
- lacerate : to tear roughly; mangle: The barbed wire lacerated his hands.
- melancholy a gloomy state of mind, esp. when habitual or prolonged; depression.
- sirenic of or characteristic of a siren; melodious, tempting, or alluring.
A contest entry
- Dead Inside by XxSuicidal-LovexX.
1500 points, ended August 9, 2008, 43 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My 30th Contest! Your Best Pre-write Ever! by Salt Therapy.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tired of HM's (X) by PatheticKt.
550 points, ended August 26, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites? Sure! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended August 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments are honoured
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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So, I look back and see!
all the thing that I have missed and know of her mind.
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Simply Breathtaking
Love it! Very well written and sort of abstract in a way! Your talent is quite obvious and surely gold worthy! Congratulations and good luck in the future! Hope all your heart's desires are met and all your wishes are granted! I do however believe in healing and that the power of the soul can overcome tragedy, but it is what we believe that becomes the truth in our own minds!That is why we must meditate and look back on the past to reflect upon our mistakes and see if we have missed anything when we were in the moment.... May Peace & Love Be Your Guides
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Well, another great poem!
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Congrats on the gold!
This is awesome twinny! Can feel the pain and sorrow so vividly. Superb emotions and imagery, nicely dark
Congrats on the golden nugget 
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Wow girl! This poem ROCKS!
I love your diction, your seemingly effortless rhyme and flow... and your ability to just draw the reader in to this little world you've created.
The character is so three-dimensional, too.
Brilliant write!!! Definitely gold-worthy.
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Wow this was so dark, powerful & so beautifully written.. the message conveyed-- full of depth.
Thanks for sharing this wonderful write -
I like this, it's a good write and love the raw emotion here especially with the great imagery, metaphors here and there being placed for the raw emotion to be really felt by the reader- nodding head reflex, ya know?
I have to say that most of the ":" are not necessary needed to be written especially with two of them being placed beside "as" ^^'
All in all, this is really a good write because the lines written here were in-depth, slightly surreal and really lovely
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I truly enjoy your writing style. It is so dark and elaborate. Congrats on the great write!
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wow ur a reallly really awesome poet!! i love ur work
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I love this. I can really feel the emotions and pain in here and I can relate to it. Especially the last stanza. I know I've been there before.
"Healing is all fictional: And I'm screaming for the drug
The medicine solution which will heal all the grievous harm
One pill to ease the stress: another pill to ease hole Ive dug
Drowning into imaginary ecstasy: with all these crimson stains on her arm."
This is beautifully written and the imagery is wonderful. Brilliant write and congrats on gold.
x
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Healing is all fictional: And I'm screaming for the drug
The medicine solution which will heal all the grievous harm
One pill to ease the stress: another pill to ease hold Ive dug
Drowning into imaginary ecstasy: with all these crimson stains on her arm.
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR VOCABULARY. IN LOOOOOVE.
Good luck!
Thanks for entering!
~ kerri
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Seriously?
Wow... This was quite a journey...
My head is still spinning from some of those words... Really, very hard hitting... Maybe something I can't entirely relate too, but just the words, speak relation...
well done
Keep Writing...
Ditt0
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nice work
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Oh my, i enjoyed reading this. The rhyming was pretty good, powerful words, just the right hint of darkness, and definitely emotion in here as well. Thanks for your entry, and good luck
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***When I see a rhyming poem whose lines get longer the way this one does, my first thought is that the writer is not in control of their rhyme, and this is no exception. Your rhythm and meter are inconsistent. Often the writer reads their own poetry aloud, they know where to pause, etc... so they don't hear the inconsistency in the meter. Maybe if you had someone else read it aloud to you, you would be able to catch it.
Ice caging dead beating heart
***If the heart is dead, how is it still beating? The conflicting symbolism/imagery does not work for me.
Ice begins to shatter: as my heart is inflicted with pins
***Don't ruin your imagery by mixing your metaphors. Shattered ice is a good symbol, but what does it have to do with pins? Is there a way you can expand on the ice metaphor?
Healing is all fictional
I like this line, even though it is a "telling" line. I think you could turn it into a poem itself. -
wow partner.. nicely done! very good! thanks for sharing this with me
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awesome -- this just ripped me to pieces, woah! Well done!!!!
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beautiful!!! i LOVE IT what fabulous morbid energy thisn poem contained! Such a divine piece of work, good luck in the contest, all my love Georgia xx
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mmmmm very good I like the way it is written. it was heartwreanching&heartfelt beautiful peice. good job
OH good thing you defined perfidious other wise I would of had to look it up LOL -
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that is why the meanings are there
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well i appricate ir. it is thoughtful of you. helps to make the poem come off better...the writer as well
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appreciate* hehe sorry i have an addiction to good spelling
thank you -
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hahaha it's cool it happens to me alot i'm a very bad speller
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It's very good again but....
You stayed up all night again didn't you?
* Not amused 
*
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umm no
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Liar
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hehe yesh i did stay up alll night
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Bravo hun!!! Well you know that big words hurt my head, but your authors notes really helped me..lol. You really did a wonderful job here hun.. Lots of imagery which I really love.. bravo.. One of my favs from you
Best of luck!!
Angel
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Wow hun, I love it... Definitely one of my favourites by you Like I said, I love big words, and you have delivered, without going over the top! Well done, and good luck in the contest!
Love Lor-Lor x
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