a mi único, mi amor (to my one and only, my love)

i hope you and the boys are doing okay, dont worry about me, i am doing just fine. i cant wait to see all of you come home rushing off that bus into your families awaiting arms. it doesnt seem so long ago since you left, while you have been gone you have stayed in my heart. not once have i tangoed with another man, for no man is the one imprinted in my very essence. since you have been gone i have helped my family redecorate the house. we ripped out the carpet from the living room, hall, and dinning room and then we put hardwood flooring down. we ripped out the lament flooring in the kitchen and then put down real tiles. my mum and i repainted the kitchen, dinning room, and my room the colors needed to be changed. my room was finaly as it should be, so i could be productive when i went to college. i still remember when i first saw you i dont think you saw me, i was new on post and i was having dificulties getting around not knowing where anything was. you were in a group of guys i stoped to ask directions from, i remember one of the guys made fun of me by saying "what a cat got your tounge? what do you want?" as i stared like a cottenbrained ninny at you. i remember the way you introduced yourself once you finally noticed me a few months later. you and a sgt were sitting out on his truck just chillen in the cool early evening air enjoying the beginning of the weekend. you didnt even know me but yet you asked me to dinner when i tried to get away from the two of you because i was hungry. it was a while before i saw you again, its funny how fate works. you happened to literly run into me coming out of our friends house when you were trying to see a drunk friend back on post. we didnt talk for long, but in that little time we had as i helped you get her and her boyfriend in your truck gave me butterflies. a few weeks later with those same friends, you showed up while we were playing a game of pool. it was that weekend that you finally asked me to be your girl. you helped me during a really rough patch in my life. you helped me deal with my injury i had gotten in the service and dealing with things that had happened in my past. it was with you and the boys, that i was finally comfortable with my body, and being around a man without thinking he would hurt me. you helped me become a better person, and see that even though i was injured i could still do something with my life. i cant even describe to you just how it was i feel in love with you, it was all the little things that only you seemed to notice. like you used to wake up before me just so you could go out and get some breakfast, so when i woke i had something waiting for me. i remember the way you used to stay awake even though you had a hard day at work, and i could see you fighting your drooping eyelids. i remember how you used to say "go ahead mi poco uno(my little one) put in that love movie you want to watch" and half the time you wouldnt even make it through half of the movie before you feel asleep holding me close. i remember once you were over there i used to wait up at night hoping just maybe i would get a phone call, or you might come online so we could talk. eventhough we only had five months that we were truely together before you had to go off to that war, you have been mine since i first laid eyes on you a whole year prior to us being together. i know that a week or so before you left we had our few arguements as well as a few after you had gone, but it was just because i scared at the idea of losing you to this war and the idea that i wasnt just injured but i had cancer. i never once thought that you would actualy lose me as i lost my battle to my own war, the one i never mentioned to you before, because i just wanted to have a happy "normal" life just for a little while. i didnt want you to know i was struggling with cancer, i never thought i would get so bad that i would lose the war, that the cancer would win. i hope you dont hate me for never telling you i honestly thought i would be better before your tour was over. i hope you find some happiness in your life, i know it might take you a little while, but baby please dont mess up while your over there just so you can join me all the sooner. i will always be your guardian angel, with you as you continue fighting over there protecting you and my boys from the deadly bullets you dodge, with you as you continue on in life doing all the things you have always wanted to do and be. dont cry over me, my love, i will never leave you, at least not truely, im always in your heart, and watching over your shoulder making sure that when you stumble i am there to pick you up.

as i said when you got onto that bus so long ago "see you later love"


ps. i will always love you, mi corazón(my heart)