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One More Goodbye

Silent tears fall,
bleeding through my veil,
of security and love,
silver shards of pain falling from my eyes,
crying out to the world,
falling on the hard linoleum floor,
shattering like the pieces of my heart,
in silence i weep,
sitting on the cold floor,
never forgetting the words that we said,
no matter how hard i tried,
always recalling the way you made me smile,
the way you could make me laugh,
it makes this seem so wrong,
but still so right,
crimson drops of relief replace the silver,
falling to the floor,
watching myself drain my own life force i wish,
for one last laugh,
one last smile,
one last "I love you",
just one more goodbye...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22
  • It was very moving adn sad. I love the deep and emotion you took your time into making this wokr of art

    The vocabulay was lovely

  • AWESOME!

    i love this. it was so intense and perfect the flow was good, and it was put together perfectly awesome write


  • stepbystep
    April 8

    Edit | Reply
    this is insanely sad,
    but i love it for some reason. hmm.must be the way you wrote it. (: pure brilliance.


  • sOuL
    April 6
    Edit | Reply
    for one last laugh,
    one last smile,
    one last "I love you",
    just one more goodbye...

    "i am sorry copying is not allowed may be"
    but i cant resist myself from copying it and than paste it inside my heart
    what a great poem
    and what a superb ending
    i really like it


  • irdefk
    December 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    it soooo emotionallll!! I luv it!!


  • SimplyNoodle
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    this is just sooo goood such emotion and words put into this its amazing


  • JaydinC
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow
    I haven't read anything of yours but I apologize for that. this piece you presented here....wow it seriously floored me. The way you presented your feelings here, it was so raw, but it was smooth in it's execution. I think that may have been it's ONLY draw back is that it wasn't as stark as it could've been. It was still beautiful and left me with a shadow of a feeling of what you felt when writing this I bet.

    • SaviDropKick.Oi.
      November 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much Jaydin....I just kinda let my feelings come out...wasnt trying to rhyme or make it flow..just wanted to get it all out..It means a lot that you actually took time to read and comment it..thanks again.


  • Artemis Huntress
    October 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    good job.......of course!! it's flow is impressiv

  • JackNapier
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    so if i might ask where did this come from is it from something that happened i mean it might just be from your mind your thoughts but i like it


  • Ryan gold member
    October 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    :O

    Amazing free style! Such emotional distress alluring captivation in its cold grasp! bravo dear lady.. simply genius!


  • YourAddictedLover
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Wow...

    Awwww! That is so...amazing! I love this...its got so much detail in it. Great job!!! I totally understand how you feel in this poem. I think that others could relate to it as well.


  • Life Is A Game
    September 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    awww

    wow, i can tottaly relate!! i missed him so much...but keep tryin i got my guy back, meybe youll get yours!!


  • Hate-And-Pain
    August 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Full of emotion and very beautifuly written. It flowed surprisingly well to me and I could feel the power behind every single word. Well done.


  • PrInCeSs AnAsTaCiA
    August 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    love it.. thanks for sharing this with me and good luck


  • HisFavoriteMistake
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully done. amazing and it tugged on my heart. i loved it

  • Down and Bleeding
    August 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    who did you write this about
    great write though


  • Angierie
    August 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love the imagery in this.
    It's simply amazing!!
    Angie

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