my very first love
came to me quiet
and inexperienced
something new for me
considering my chaotic start in this world
mental illness and sexual assault
led me to never wanting to be touched again
until he came
the cards and flowers
kisses and hugs
the overall comfort
of having someone to go through this life with
was beaten out not long after giving birth to
a beautiful baby girl
an angel in disguise
my light in this darkness
when fists and knives
propelled from his desire
to hurt me
caught me one night
in a panic that only left time
to deal with my daughter
i realized i needed to live
his jail term was light
considering the jail in which my soul was contained
held it longer than years
never thought his touch
his voice
him in general could ever bring a smile to my face
or a comfort to my tired being
again
i was wrong
i learned to appreciate myself
i learned to put him in his place
and make sure he stays there
painful to walk away from the very first person
i felt ever truly gave a damn about me
painful still to see him
in a new life
without me
i sometimes yearn for him to come
and put his arms around me
if only for a moment
but that comfort is no longer found in him
maybe in a memory
moving forward is only as far as you make it
how far have you already come
and how far do you need to go until you find
yourself is enough
to quench that thirst
to calm that fear
and to love you like only you can
you can forgive and never forget
find that thin line where past and future
glimpse at each other and then pull away
leaving you right where you need to be
Author notes
first: i do not do good with grammar so if you need to DQ. this is written from personal experience. i was abused and almost killed by the hands of my childs father. we still do talk. and occasionally see each other. this is the story (sort of)...
inner self healing is the most important part of moving on. : RIGHTEOUSME
ALL THREE OPTIONS...
In a list
A contest entry
- Closing The Door To Your Past by Viyanna Rosemarie.
1233 points, ended September 21, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OCTOBER is Violence Against Women Awareness Month by DragonBlue.
2600 points, ended November 10, 2008, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
This stanza:
you can forgive and never forget
find that thin line where past and future
glimpse at each other and then pull away
leaving you right where you need to be
was excellent and tied all of the previous stanza's together as one poem. Thank you very much for entering my contest.
Blessed Be~
)O(
DragonBlue
-
See, I told you that I knew you were a strong assed woman who knows her own value
And learning to forgive is the hallmark of good spiritual healing
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