I'm fading slowly and I can't stop
It's such a lovely sensation
To feel the tingle as I become little more
Than a wispy mist floating here.
Do not worry, I am still alive
In a sweeter, more fulfilling form.
Because I am fading into you
Instead of obscurity.
Give me the sustenance I need.
I will feed off the pure ecstasy
Of your touch and your kiss.
Make me breathe, make me live.
Do not deny or reject me.
I cannot remain without you.
I believe I would fade completely
And entirely cease to be.
Comments
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The wording here is really cute. The entire first stanza as one sentence is a bit of a run-on... And some of it seems forced for me. That could just be the places you end the lines though. And I think you planned the ending of the lines and I don't want to short that just because I don't understand...
You could probably change the link color because it's pretty much making me go blind. And the text color, in my opinion, is too dark. If you want to encompass fading into your poem, you should pick a fading background or text. That would make the poem closer to the audience and enhance it. In general, very well written and clearly felt. Well done. -
Amazing
I love this poem! It is so radawesome beyond belief!
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