The nervous tension creaks in my voice
As I gaze into her anticipating eyes
Fearing the loss of an amazing bond
Fearing the absence of her love
The butterflies swirl in my stomach
As I clasp her moist hands
Fearing an undesirable reply
Fearing the possibility of a shattered heart
The relief flowing through my body
As she locks her fingers through mine
Fearing absolutely nothing
Feeling on top of the world
Author notes
The fear of purposing to smoeone special or even just asking them out!
But how in the end, it can yurn out well and all your fears can be forgotten.
A contest entry
- Marry Me? by luna-midnight.
1000 points, ended August 18, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you honestly think?
Comments
1 - 32 of 32
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Really, really great stuff.
The constant return to "Fearing" and finally "Feeling" really shows development in the poem...
The way you represented the story is creates powerful images.
Maybe just "on top of the world" taking away from the rest of the poem for me. The words are so often used the've lost their feel a bit I think...
But otherwise great...
I'd love to give you claps... But I got no freebies! and Ive used to many of my own points today already... Soz
Peace out... -
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Thanx man
ya true, maybe ill tweak it a little
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awwww thats so good! the last line is a lovly ending
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Thank you
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WONDERFUL!!!!
That my friend is one empty and terrible feeling, one which has been in my heart many times.
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yeah it is hey! But its life!
Thanks for the comment
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Awww, that's beautiful! You express yourself so sweetly and the emotion is something I think most people can relate to without a problem, lol. What do *I* honestly think? I think you've set yourself up for a great experience her on AP with this kind of talent! Great job, and welcome to AP!
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Wow, thanks for that awesome comment I'm glad you liked it!
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aww... that's really good.
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Thank you
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Awww, this is beautiful and lovely
thanks so much for entering and good luck
i hope you and your gf, stay together and get to feel this forever
Stephanie ♥ -
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Thank you incredibly much
And shes not my Girlfriend.. Unfortuantely, I wrote this to soothe my fear of asking her out -
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aww, now come on and ask her out
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I actually kinda did on Tuesday and well... She wants to be just friends but im falling for this other girl at my school in the grade below me
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what grade are you in? lol
and well thats good
you should be happy in love -
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Im in grade 10
And yes, but ive hardly spoken to her
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i'm going into 11th grade, but ill probably graguate early
awww, that makes it more of a mystery to solve and enjoy
get to work
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AwesomeI guess it does! Its fun! and shes pretty cool so far
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tell me about her then
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mmm! Maybe ill write a poem about her sometime! Shes really awesome and so fun to talk to and shes kind and understanding We barely know eachother and yet we tell eachother mostthings! I can trust her with anything and on top of that, in my oppinion, she is gorgeous
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i bet she is gorgeous
and well she sounds like a lovely girl...you should deff write a poem for her and show it to her
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mmm! i will eventually but it would be rather random at this point but i really will
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yay!
see i love a guy who would write me poems, rather then some idiot with looks
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Haha well im glad you do
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well to love someone from the heart means you must be blind to fully accept them. and if all they are is a pretty face then you are screwed.lol
but to have someone with a lovely heart makes their beauty shine through even if you were blind so all is beautiful in love if you love right
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Wow! I wish everyone though that way because it is so so true!
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lol, thanks, idk...i thought youd freak i went on some sota love rant there
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haha na My love life actually is really bad, ive never had a girlfriend before to be honest and the girl i wrote all these poems for didnt have feelings for me because i wasnt hot enough or so her friend says!
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hahaha, yours is bad like mine then
well hmmm, i've had one bf here, back in 6th grade and well i dont count it, but w/e..and he cheated on me.lol
and then I've had Tony and Lorcan and they both live at least 5thousand miles away from me
wow, thats kinda harsh, i think you seem really cute
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Shame! Oh and thank you
You are really fun to talk t
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why thank you
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