The little waves that give our boat its motion
Are cousins to the crash of winter's storms
Majestic moods that give life to the ocean
Can change the world as every scene transforms
A silver dawn can tip the waves with magic
The dark of night brings phosphorescent glow
You'd spend your life to study the pelagic
And never find the end of what's on show
While landsmen see the beauty of the mountains
And country walks will set them at their ease
The merest sight of city centre fountains
Will have a sailor dreaming of his seas
You cannot thrive away from Neptune's waters
When you have lost you heart to all his daughters
Author notes
I think the couplet is now half decent, so now I need to look for a good one!
Shakespearian sonnet with feminine rhyme and therefore 11 syllables terminating in an amphibrach (di DUM di) in lines 1,3,5,7,9,11,13 & 14
A contest entry
- Form Poetry & Options by Cyclical.
900 points, ended August 25, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This well versed poem calls to my own love of the sea inspiring the senses. I'm an occasional peruser of the sonnet too. By no means any accomplished expert. But know enough to recognize a moving well composed piece when reading. And this one doesn't disappoint.
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Wonderfully done as usual.
Loved it.
Best wishes in the contest honey
love
Passions
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A wonderful sonnet! The sea, there is little that is more worthy of poetry, again, an absolutley superb sonnet! bravo... bravo...
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You finally made the final couplet then and a goody it is too
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Boffo!
Your stuff always tells me something.
Thanks for this, Jeff.
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We are steering towards Not Bad here, but presently we are close-hauled on the starboard tack, and that is bringing us close to the rocks at line-14. There's just something... Nah, I'm being fussy about nothing. The final "his" refers to Neptune, right?
How about:
A mariner's in thrall to Neptune's daughters,
and beached - marooned - unless upon His waters.
Just playing with it, taking the sea image a little further... I'll keep thinking for you...
Definitely on a not-bad-ward course, though.
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