Gasping for air--I cannot brave this storm,
the torrent of rage,
That thing you adore.
Water wrapping it's tendrils around my chest,
Watch as my body sinks down,
and fades to nothingness.
I can see you standing there that smile on your face.
You want to see me drown,
to die, without a trace.
I have no more strength...I cannot fight the current.
You knew I wouldn't have broken free.
I guess wanted to make sure,
Because I can feel your hands pressing down on me.
What do I see, below the surface?
That anger you held inside.
Guess now, I've got to embrace my final rest.
Author notes
Alright, option 11..hope you enjoy...best of luck judging.
A contest entry
- Make It Dark by peregrin.
450 points, ended August 10, 2008, 81 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options~~ =) by Ti Amo Te Quiero.
360 points, ended October 10, 2008, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think? Anything I can work on?
Comments
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This is such a great write
You can feel the despair and sadness in each line
Awesome write
Well done
x
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i could picture this entirely and i could feel all the darkness and sadness within your words. this was awesome to read! good luck in your contest!
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I love it!
I seriously think this is a very strong piece,
and you might just win!
Great luck!
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