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Trapped

Dirty walls closing in,
I can't escape,
freedom so near.


Light!



so,    far.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Thom Boulton
    February 22

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    TOP MARKS

    Alice, Alice, Alice... this is good. And very dark, I am impressed. Your use of spacing to create distance in your poem is very clever... ... almost to clever. I will have to have you followed and tracked. Perhaps some form of carrier pigeon with a cloaking device is in order. Here's a hint though and this one is for free, the use of CAPS LOCK can never be overused in a poem like this. LIGHT! Either way, this is brilliant. Top Marks.


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    August 11, 2008

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    Light so far ... sharp ending that hits the heart and makes me feel it all wash over me like a tidal wave of pain and dispair.

    Excellent!
    ♥
    Thank you & Best of luck!
    Stay safe
    ~Manda