Read, read, read, read!
As children it is what we hear the most,
Who could guess how insideous a source could be,
on which all literature can have a host?
Zombification, social execution, mental suicide,
To throw your social skills off of a bridge,
Fingers made of my own space choke the youth,
who assume poems must ryme, no matter how raped they sound,
Shy, spineless worms who cannot speak to each other,
unless they weild a keyboard or a cellphone.
Is this the fault of my generation?
The technolodgy I so hate?
I blame god.
The world is a beautiful place.
Why is it he gives us eyes for a computer screen,
But not for his world?
Who could guess?
Author notes
God I hate the internet... more the people who use it really...
A contest entry
- August New Member's Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended September 7, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Welcome to AllPoetry
Very crafty and well written overall.
Content:
Valid reactions to a fallen and needy world, even though I couldn't blame the Creator. We participate in free choice so it still lands on our messes..lol.
A good contender in form.
*Suggestion*
The use of punctuation in a poem should
be minimal so that each subsequent line is
relative to the preceding one. I'd eliminate
as much as possible.
Thank you for entering! -
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If I could read it to the audience, I would leave out the punctuation.
Lets not shove god into this. Regardless of whether he is there or not, the world isn't so bad. It defeats the purpose of a flower, if you only look at it after it dies.
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
This is very well penned, you got your thoughts across very well. and the internet can be a good thing.
Welcome to allpoetry.!!.!.!
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Thank you. Glad somebody didn't complain about mention of god. An angel, even.
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Ironic :)
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See the other lady's comment, who said something like this, you're in the same boat, with no literature decoding paddle, and you've got the same crap sense of humor, which seems to fail to alert you that that joke is obvious. I'm half-surprised only two felt the need to point it out...
Alright, I've got a joke for you. You need your sense of humor to get it.
Why couldn't the boy get in to sea(oh, a joke within a joke!) the pirate movie? Because it was rated X!
HAHAHAHAHA! Get it! HAHAHAHAHA! GET IT!? It would have been rated ARR, but there was a lot of sex in it, which pushed it over the edge!!! So it was Rated X! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VeeJxefijoY
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hi basettcg
I don't think that the blame should be shifted on god, it is man that has made the world what it is today and unfortunately most of us will want the new shiny thing that comes out everyday and the technology that comes with it. You did well at expressing yourself. Goodluck in the contest.
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Oh,you be quiet, you're a greeter, you're not allowed to pass judgement on me.
God made all things. If predestination is in effect, god did do it has sent people to hell that could have been saved. That just doesn't happen. Bye-bye catholisism.
If you're a protestant, you have so many tricks to defend religion, it's not even funny. I won't argue until the exact nature of your beliefs are revealed to me, and would prefer to agree to disagree rather than argue anyway.
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Welcome to AllPoetry!
I was just about to say- you hate the internet, yet you're on it?? LOL.
But there is a lot of strength in the words here. I think you did good.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to AP
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It's called insomnia lady, and it sucks. And if what you got out of this was I hate the internet, you misunderstood me completely.
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welcome to allpoetry
hrmm... You have, indeed, said so much here. A lot of feeling and thought in these lines. My opinion, when we are given a gift it is up to us to use it for the positive or the negative. This goes with so many things. I can understand a lot of what you say here... and the things (or people) that make you feel the way you do.
You will need to let us know the option number in your notes section. If you need help with that or anything else just let us know.
Good luck to you in the contest.
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No, you can't, I promise. That's okay though.
Uhh... What's an option number? -
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you are right I could not know the things life has brought your way, or what is inside your heart just as you could not know the truth of mine... and we can leave it at that. respectfully.
The option number I was referring to is listed on the contest page Options ONE , TWO, and through to FIVE.
Now the contest has ended so there is no need to worry about it here for this contest. I suggest that next contest you enter take care to read the whole page rules, options etc.
Just trying to be helpful and offer my opinion.
all the best.
~Kristy -
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Oh, yeah, I saw it, I forgot. Heh, I thought you weretalking aout something techincal for a moment. Ha!
No, no, no... we're not leaving it at that, because you're the reason I hate poerty. It's 'deep' new-wave bullshit like statements like that that make me so afraid of poetry. I'm afraid I'll be labled as one of you.
Don't comment on any more of my work. Don't read anymore of my work. Don't give me any more 'advice'. I don't like you, and you probably don't like yourself. Come back when you've developed an original personality, and I'll talk civilly to you. Until then, quite frankly, up yours, man.
And if you respond to this, instead of dropping it or reporting it or something, you'll have provenso many of my theories it isn't even funny. Unless you can live with a group of complete strangers you'll never meet mocking you and laughing at you(To the laymen, this is pish-posh, but to your kind no doubt a fate worse than death), don't say anything else.
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
Don't blame God, i don't think it's he who givesus eyes for a computer screen but the choices of those sho do so. You say so much here and it is so well written. Thanks for entering our contest!
Blessings,
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I suppose I shouldn't complain about another god comment, because I'm answering the comments backwards... but I will
No. No, I'm not listening to you. I'm blaming god, and there is nothing you can do to stop me.
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Welcome To all poetry
Hi basettcg
You have some good lines in this poem, makes the reader think People choose to be the way they are Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest
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People do not choose addiction.
Ohh... I didn't realise that was going to sound as good as it did. So, there is an unusual, intense attraction to something for no physical reason, what put it there? Tell me it's not god.
Of course it isn't!! (In theory at least) He wouldn't do anything to hurt us. But think before you tell me the same thing everybody else does, or I'll get a stroke of brilliance, and make you feel stupid. Or at least make me feel like I made you feel stupid. -
People do not choose addiction.
Ohh... I didn't realise that was going to sound as good as it did. So, there is an unusual, intense attraction to something for no physical reason, what put it there? Tell me it's not god.
Of course it isn't!! (In theory at least) He wouldn't do anything to hurt us. But think before you tell me the same thing everybody else does, or I'll get a stroke of brilliance, and make you feel stupid. Or at least make me feel like I made you feel stupid.
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Who could guess.. Well, it is for us to grow up by ourselves, we ought to distinguish!! dont blame God dear please.. You give birth.. let your child play in the ground.. you dont care if he plays hockey or football or any rubbish game, you want him safe back home, lest, if he is hurt you might rush to care for him or send someone to care, that is all. it is upto the child to play safe, and choose the game
Welcome to Allpoetry!! -
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I can't give birth, don't have the right parts... at least I hope I can't... it would hurt...
Anyway, when I have a kid, the bastard's going to play video games and get on the internet, but he won't obsess, and he'll do other things, because I'll show him how beautiful actually doing things can be, like my father and grandfather showed me.
And asking me not to blame god is like asking me not to blame the farmer or chef for his beef giving me E-coli, but to blame the cow for being sick.
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yeahp, but the problems def bigger the just the internet.
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You bother me.
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you don't effect me.
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no, that's a lie.
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Would you really have to grope your grandma if you capitalized the first word in you sentences? I'm not even attacking you on the poor sentece structure, lack of elaboration on your thoughts, (God I hate it when somebody says something everbody can agree with.) or your unholy spelling... well, yes I am, but I'm doing it very subtlely.
Rape of the elderly is not a prerequisite for decent online writing, have no fear, you can use your full potential, the shift key and everything.
Now you know.
AND KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!
(I'm really very funny, in a dick-like way, you just have have to look at me the right way.) -
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(wow, people really liked this, huh?)
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no your not a dick, your obsessive compulsive. OCD. It is ok, it is a fairly common mental disorder.
I write to be read. Can you read this? -
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Well, you threw a dart... it didn't even hit the wall, but you were sort of close. Ever since the show Monk came on, people seem to think it's cool to have OCD. Those people really, really need to get laid, but that'll never happen; you need a personality, and to get 'icky' to get laid. Well, in my neighborhood at least....
.......
Okay, to get laid without having to go see a doctor afterwards.
I do not have OCD, OCD exists, but in most 'mild' cases it is people bullshiting themselves for attention. I'm crazy(the dart board talk was a metaphor for you calling me one kind of crazy and being wrong about everything but the crazy bit, I never really made that clear) but I'll just leave it at that.
Oh yeah, and stop... Stop talking to me... I like you, but... go away.
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